


(adorn a) circlet of hellfire

by Anonymous



Series: lavender crowned anon's dream smp collection [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Injury, Body Modification, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrids, Insane Wilbur Soot, Manipulation, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Post-Festival, Scars, Secrets, Threats of Violence, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has Horns, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, Video Game Mechanics, Worldbuilding, graphic descriptions of pain, kind of, temporary deafness, to a certain extent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27140845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Tubbo had been hoping that he'd finally have a moment to breathe, now that he had left Manburg.Fate must have different plans, because he didn't think having an agonising crisis in the middle of Techno's potato farm counted as any form of relaxation, actually.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Dave | Technoblade & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot, Eret & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Niki | Nihachu & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Niki | Nihachu & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sam | Awesamdude & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: lavender crowned anon's dream smp collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984183
Comments: 140
Kudos: 1047
Collections: Anonymous





	1. oh my, oh my

Tubbo was proud of the work he had put into the festival.

As the start time slowly approached, he watched the lanterns glow gently in the evening light, the way the bright colours shone in the approaching night and the comfy business of the scene, and felt an odd sense of calm.

He knew of Wilbur's plans for all this to end in disaster, and he almost felt disappointed when he saw how good the event turned out, but he still felt calm despite that. Even though it was far from the case, the fact that he had planned the event made him feel a little more in control of everything and it was nice. 

It probably helped that Schlatt seemed to be legitimately surprised by the level of decoration. As Tubbo walked Schlatt and Quackity around for a quick check around the festival grounds, he had been sprinkled with praise, and rode that high even when Schlatt placed a hand on his shoulder, stilling him in place as Quackity continued on ahead. 

He glanced back at Schlatt with a silent look of confusion, and got a grin in response. "This really is amazing, Tubbo. Well done." The ram leaned down to speak in his ear, as if to share a secret, grin lightening into a smile. "You know, I wasn't gonna tell you to keep it a surprise, but I've got a gift for you."

Tubbo's curiosity piqued at that simple statement, like one would expect from anyone on the receiving end of the gift. "Really?" Schlatt hardly seemed like the giving type, and perhaps he might have considered that it might be a prank if it wasn't for the warm lantern light, accentuating the softness of Schlatt's ram ears. "What is it?"

(Tubbo had chosen those lanterns himself, and it was a shame. Maybe if he had chosen a less warm light source, he would have seen the truth of Schlatt's expression. Maybe he would have noticed that his smile was more of a smirk, and his eyes were darkened with something sinister and bitter. But the sad reality was that he didn't.)

Schlatt laughed lightly, pulling away and letting his hand fall from his shoulder. "Just telling you wouldn't be any fun! You're gonna have to wait until after the festival to find out." He reached up, patting Tubbo's head a little harder than normal, as if pressing downwards, but the touch was fleeting and in the next second, Schlatt had started walking again. Tubbo didn't dwell, instead hurrying to catch up as Quackity finally noticed their absence and came running back with a wave of his arm. 

He tried to forget about that small exchange of words, and it was easy as the start time for the festival quickly approached. He knew he'd probably never find out what that gift was anyway, if Schlatt was planning to give it to him after the festival. Not when Wilbur's plans foretold that all of this would end in disaster.

* * *

In the end, he was right.

The event did end in disaster - just not the disaster any of them expected.

* * *

Tubbo thought he was getting pretty good at adapting to terrible situations, so he found himself settling into Pogtopia a lot easier than one might expect. Sure, it was terrifying to see the cracks in Wilbur's mind, and horrible to feel the lingering tension between Techno and Tommy and knowing he was to blame, but after sneaking around under Schlatt's nose for an extended period of time and then subsequently being executed for it, he felt like he could take anything in stride.

Besides, he had Niki and Tommy with him to wind down with, and listen to music discs at sunset with and make things feel a little easier.

Tubbo spent his days doing mining, mostly, and scavenging for natural resources. It wasn't thrilling work, but he got it done, and that was the same as it had been in Manburg - the change of chores made no difference when they were all still chores. What was a change was his new scars, mostly hidden under his clothes. He made sure to wear long sleeves, so the only visible scars were those on his hands and the horrible display on both sides of his face, but they didn't trouble him much aside from sore muscles and on an emotional level. His hearing and sight was a little impaired now, but he had died quickly enough that the respawn had dealt with most of the damage on that front.

Still, the sight of them must have startled the rest of Pogtopia, because they were reluctant to let him do anything more dangerous than he already was. Tommy tended to cleverly disguise this by appointing him in charge of guarding the ravine a majority of the time, and while Tubbo knew that Tommy was only saying that to keep him somewhere he deemed safe, he found it a sweet enough gesture to never point that out.

Maybe he should have pressed the point. Maybe if he had, he wouldn't have been alone when it began.

He wasn't sure where everyone else was, exactly. He knew Niki and Tommy had gone on a quick stealing run around the outskirts of Manburg, with the idea of sneaking back to Niki's bakery to grab some of her supplies, but he had no idea what Techno and Wilbur were doing. 

Tubbo didn't mind though, because as much as he hated to admit it, he wasn't as worried for them as he was Niki and Tommy. There was something about the two, especially Wilbur with his fragile mental state, that unsettled him, so he was fine with their absence. 

Tubbo had put some of their ore into a furnace to smelt it into ingots, poking the coal lightly with a stone sword while staying a safe distance away from the actual flame. He had been searching their chests for a spare blaze rod, because he had wanted to make a brewing stand, and thought it wouldn't hurt to take care of the ore he had found instead while he contemplated taking a trip into the Nether.

He decided against it, though that was less of a decision and more of a necessity when his head exploded in a burst of sudden pain. Tubbo reeled back, instantly letting go of the sword and backing away from the furnace, placing a hand on the side of his head. The pain had come out of nowhere, and for a moment he was too disoriented to do anything except register the feeling of harsh, cold stone digging into his back.

He took a deep breath as he came to the conclusion that he needed to lie down immediately. That was easier said than done when he pulled himself to his feet with the help of the wall and nearly fell over again as the world spun beneath him.

Okay, so maybe he couldn't get to his bed like planned, because he didn't want to risk walking up stairs without railings when dizzy, but he didn't want to stay on the hard stone floor either. It took him a moment to think, and an even longer moment to start moving supported by the wall, but he decided the next best thing to a bed on this floor was the potato farm.

Tubbo collapsed into the dirt, a little damp but thankfully recently planted, so he wasn't crushing any potato stems. He curled into himself, the padding of earth beneath his head not soothing his pain nearly as much as he had hoped. He racked his brain for any sort of explanation, desperate to at least understand why he was in pain, but he couldn't think of anything that made sense.

He breathed the scent of earth in lungfuls, closing his eyes to distract from the fact that his vision was starting to swim. The longer time stretched on, the more apparent it was that the pain was only getting worse. Tubbo buried his head into his arms, like that would help, lamenting on how his head felt like it was full of spikes and wishing that Tommy was there. He may not be the best at comfort, but Tommy was familiar, and just his presence would have made him feel better.

He didn't know how long it lasted, but eventually the pain began to subside. Tentatively hopeful, Tubbo cracked an eye open, and while the pain was still lingering, he was no longer disoriented. Allowing himself a small smile, he slowly began to uncurl himself, pushing up into a sitting position and finding himself relieved by the lack of dizziness.

He was relieved too quickly, because not a second later, his arms gave out beneath him and he fell onto his side as a scream tore from his throat. The pain had returned full force, but instead of encompassing his whole head, it seemed to be concentrated at two points. Those two points _burned_ , and his nerves felt like they had been set on fire, his vision edged with white as he gripped the sides of his head. His shoulders were raised to his ears, and he knew instinctively that he was crying even though the sensation of tears on his cheeks didn't register above the agony. It was a terrible, spiteful miracle that he hadn’t passed out from how overwhelming it felt.

Tubbo couldn't describe what happened next, but all he knew was that it felt like something shifted and suddenly the pain burst like a bubble, leaving him in a heartbeat. Apart from some light aching, it felt like the pain he had endured had never existed, and when he sat up again with ease, it was as if the disorientation hadn't been real either.

It felt surreal, and for a moment, Tubbo could only stare down at the disturbed soil with furrowed brows. He knew that agony had to have been real, but how the hell did it disappear as quickly as it came? Why did it start to begin with?

Something trickled down his face, different from the tears drying on his dirty cheeks, and only growing more confused, he reached up and brushed his fingertips through the liquid. He pulled his hand away and sucked in a sharp breath in alarm when it came back an accusing crimson.

Tubbo instantly stumbled onto his feet, filled with the need to see himself and check for injury properly. Pogtopia didn't have any mirrors like Manburg did, but they did have a water source in their ravine, and water was reflective. His feet carried him to the nearest stream, and he knelt down beside it, peering down at himself.

It was a little distorted, but he could see blood streaking down from his hairline, two lines standing out against his pale face. He carefully reached up, lightly running his fingers through his hair in search, only growing more confused when he brushed past two solid bumps. He parted his hair with both hands to investigate, his breath catching in his throat as he finally saw the source of the bleeding.

Poking out from his skull, bloodied with broken skin still clinging to their bases, were two twin keratin points. 

_Horns._

He stared silently, almost not believing what he was seeing, holding his hair back as he tentatively reached up to probe at them. He winced, quickly withdrawing his hand - the base of them were sensitive, and he already had enough pain for today - and watching as blood dripped down to the water, muddying the reflection with red before it was swept away with the gentle current. 

Tubbo began cleaning his face with water he scooped up into his cupped palms mechanically, unsure how he was feeling aside from a thrumming panic. How was it possible for him to grow horns out of nowhere?!

Even worse; he recognised the type of horn that was breaking through his head and he only knew one person that had them. The implications that came with him growing the same set was disconcerting, especially seeing as the same person had ordered for his execution only a few days prior. 

He sighed heavily, hunching over the water. He knew that, with Schlatt being the president of the country they were trying to reclaim, he was bound to be present as a topic in his daily life, but he had been hoping for a little bit of ignorance now that he was out from under his thumb. 

Oh well. He didn't really want to think about it now, especially not when he was already worn from the process of spontaneously sprouting said horns, so he filed it away for later thought.

Tubbo finally started to fix his hair, and was soothed by the fact that the horns were tiny enough to be completely hidden by his hair. As long as he didn't get it wet in front of the others (and seeing as he was limited in things he was allowed to do, he probably wouldn't) they'd be none the wiser.

Giving himself a final glance in the water, he was pleased to find that he looked...normal. He flashed himself a smile that only looked a little forced, before getting to his feet.

He had some iron to make into ingots.

* * *

"Tubbo! We're back!"

A smile bloomed on his face as Tommy's voice echoed around the ravine, hopping up from the chest he was sat on to meet Tommy as he came hurrying down the stairs, Niki trailing behind him with a fond smile of her own.

"How'd it go?" Tubbo asked lightheartedly, already knowing it had gone well by the grin on Tommy's face. 

"It went perfectly! Nobody suspected a thing." Tommy boasted playfully, thumping his chest with a fist as he came to a stop beside Tubbo. 

"We got a lot of good supplies from my bakery." Niki added on, clearly satisfied with the result of their mission, pulling wheat and bags of sugar from her inventory as she went to put them in the chests. "I was worried they might have ransacked it after I left, but it looks untouched."

"That's good!" Tubbo commented as he leaned against the wall, watching Niki begin to rearrange the things in the chest and enjoying the sound of her gentle humming under her breath.

"What about you, big man? Anything happen while we were gone?" Tommy asked as he folded his arms over his arms, his tone teasing, because they both knew that the ravine was pretty boring when alone.

Tubbo thought about the episode of agony he had to deal with. He thought about the disturbed soil in the potato farm and the heavily diluted blood somewhere downstream. He thought about the incriminating tips of horn, disguised in plain sight. 

"Nah, I was just making some iron ingots." Tubbo replied instead of voicing those thoughts, pushing off the wall to walk to the furnace, where he was waiting for said ingots to set. He checked on them briefly, already knowing it hadn't been long enough for them to be ready, before turning to Tommy with an innocent curve to his lips. "Hey, do you know if we have any blaze rods? I've been thinking of making a brewing stand."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka welcome to horned!tubbo au but with a twist! I thought it'd be interesting to take that concept and set it after the events of the festival, because it opens up a lot of interesting opportunities, so here we are!
> 
> I'm excited to get this story on the road, and if you're interested in the concept too, I hope you'll stick around for the ride! It's gonna be fun :)


	2. fire in the brain

All things considered, the _out of sight out of mind_ tactic worked pretty well, for the first day or so. 

Nobody had noticed anything wrong, the tiny points perfectly hidden under his hair, and the remaining soreness had faded slowly throughout the day so that by the time Tubbo went to bed (which was far later than he should have), he had almost forgotten the fact that they existed to begin with.

(Almost, because he doesn't think he'd ever be able to forget the pain he had to go through.)

Two mornings later, a faint soreness had returned, but it was easy to ignore so Tubbo did just that. He ate bread for breakfast, sat cross legged with Tommy by a fireplace as they spoke about whatever irrelevant thing came to mind, more than aware of Wilbur sat across from them, occasionally chiming in with little quips but otherwise leaving them be. 

Wilbur left Pogtopia entirely soon enough, talking about finding a water source to fish from - though Tubbo wasn't sure if he believed him or not. Either way, though he hated to admit it, he felt better when Wilbur was absent instead of seeing him act so strangely, so he didn't try to question him. Niki joined them by the fireplace minutes later, brushing flour off her overalls and talking about some baked goods she had just put in a furnace. 

Tubbo ended up asking them if they wanted to accompany him down to the mines, because neither of them seemed to have any plans for the day, and he thought it would be nice to spend some quality time together. They had readily agreed and, half an hour later, they were making their way down a makeshift mine shaft, burrowing further into the earth. 

His pickaxe was held loosely in one hand, a tool he was more than familiar with after spending a decent chunk of recent days down in the mines. Tommy was in front of him, having insisted that he would lead the way, and Niki trailed behind him with torches in one hand, hanging them up periodically to light their way. It was a comfortable arrangement, and the company alone made Tubbo feel happier.

They split off once they reached a cave, Niki handing them both some torches before sending them on their way. They made sure to stay within hearing range, and Tubbo enjoyed listening to Tommy's running commentary of his failed attempts to find anything of value.

"What are we even looking for down here?" Tommy complained, his voice ringing around the cavern with a twinge of reverb. "Did you just decide to drag us down here without a plan, Tubbo?"

"No, obviously not." Tubbo scoffed, and though he knew nobody else would see it, a playful smile tugged at his lips. He absentmindedly rubbed at his temple with his free hand, feeling a dull pulse of pain and dismissing it just as quick. "I was thinking of getting some diamonds, so me and Niki could get a full set of armour each."

"Oh, that sounds like a good idea!" Niki chimed in, somewhere to his right, and he could hear her own smile as she added on. "Especially the idea of it being full diamond, because then it'll be both coordinated and strong."

"Hey!" Tommy shouted back, and Tubbo could imagine his half pout as he stood with a diamond hat and boots clashing with a netherite chestplate and pants. Niki's response was a small giggle, followed by the clinking of her pickaxe against stone. 

"If we could get our hands on some gold, that'd also do." Tubbo mused, walking further into the cave and placing a torch down as he reached another junction. "Not for armour, but for other things. It'd be good to have on hand."

He could hear footsteps follow after him, and knew it was Tommy when his voice sounded closer the next time he spoke. "Yeah, yeah, I got it. Bet I can find diamond quicker than you, bitch boy."

Tubbo laughed, shaking his head as he headed down the tunnel on the right, hearing Tommy move to go down the left tunnel in response. "Oh, you're on!" 

He took off down the tunnel, fighting off a spider or two while constantly being reassured by the distant sound of Niki's feet or Tommy's grunts of effort followed by cracks of breaking stone. Tubbo had been walking for a few minutes by the time he caught a sparkle of teal out of the corner of his eye. It was an admittedly short amount of time, but he wasn't worrying about that, not when a giddy, childish sense of victory filled his chest. 

He turned back to face where he had come from, cupping a hand around his mouth as he called out. "I FOUND DIAMONDS!"

"WHAT?" Tommy's scandalised shout resounded in his ears, and Tubbo snickered as he heard the distinct sound of the other two following his voice to find him. "NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T!"

He turned back to the diamonds with pride, and began to pick away at the stone to free the goods. He freed the first diamond easily, but as soon as his pickaxe dug into the stone encasing the second, searing pain rushed through his skull and seemingly knocked his vision out of focus. 

Tubbo was distantly aware of the fact that he was falling forward, straight towards the stone walls of the cave, but it took enough of his concentration to fumble his pickaxe into an inventory slot, let alone stop himself from hitting his head. Luckily, he wasn't alone this time - the shout of alarm was muted in his ears, but he felt arms snake under his armpits to catch him, pulling him back to a chest.

The movement made the pain spike, poker hot shards reaching for his brain from the base of his stubby horns, and he choked out a cry despite himself, reaching a hand up to his head. He tried to concentrate on the words being said, recognising that both Niki and Tommy were trying to talk to him.

_"-ommy, we need to get him back to Pogtopia."_

_"Right. Okay, shit, help get him on my back?"_

He was passed into Niki's gentle hands, biting down another groan as he cracked an eye he didn't remember closing open. Despite his mild disorientation, the shine of torchlight reflecting off turquoise stone caught his eye before he was being hauled upwards. 

Tubbo looped his arms around Tommy's neck instinctually, pressing his forehead against his shoulder and closing his eyes again, as if the lack of light would help alleviate the pain. Despite the aforementioned pain, he spoke as loudly as possible, though it came out more like an urgent murmur. "Wait, the diamonds, you gotta get the diamonds."

He felt Tommy catch his legs and support them, and he loosely locked his ankles together to help feel more secure. There was a light warmth at his back, and it took him a moment to recognise it as Niki's palm, her voice laced with concern. "The diamonds aren't important. We can get them later. Right now, we need to get you to a bed as soon as possible."

Tubbo wanted to protest, point out that there was no guarantee they'd be able to find them again, but he was silenced by another flare of pain. He bit his lip to keep any noise to himself, breathing heavily through his nose as he could almost feel the horns shifting. He could almost hear the creak of bone. 

By the time he was able to register anything outside his own pain again, he knew it was already too late to retrieve the diamonds. Tommy was climbing, and Niki was close behind, stone crunching under her soles. Tubbo regretted coming to the mines, if only because the rocky ground and tight space meant that Tommy was constantly jostling him, which only sent additional pinpricks of pain along the base of his horns. Clinging to Tommy as tightly as possible did nothing to limit the shaking.

"Hang on, Big T. I've got you, I've got you." Tommy's quietly huffed reassurances barely made it to his ears, but they were sincere, and that calmed something within him. 

He wasn't sure how long they had been climbing, nor how long they had left, but he eventually realised that he could feel dampness clinging to his scalp. Tubbo, slightly delirious from the pounding of his head, suddenly felt a burst of panic in his chest clash dangerously with the ache dripping from his skull. The bleeding wasn't the problem in itself - rather, the bleeding made it more likely that Niki and Tommy would actually find out about the horns and what explanation could Tubbo possibly give when he hadn't the foggiest idea himself?

The only positive thing about this new development was that the pain slowly seemed to ebb away once the bleeding began, and by the time Tommy was easing him onto his bed, he was fully aware of his surroundings with a mild headache. He sighed as his head sunk into the pillow, and had only just realised that blood was dripping down his temples to the bedsheets when he heard Tommy let out a loud curse. 

"Did you hit your head?! Damnit, I thought I caught you in time!" There was an edge of panic to Tommy's voice that made guilt spark in Tubbo's chest. He squinted through half lidded eyes to see Tommy at his side, and he reached out to grab his wrist in an attempt to reassure him.

"No, no, you did. I didn't hit my head. M'fine, Tommy." He tried for a small smile, and watched as Tommy's expression pinched in response.

"Then how do you explain the blood?" He retorted, just as loud as before but not as frantic, which Tubbo took to mean his reassurance was a success. Still, he bit the inside of his cheek as he glanced away, unsure how to respond. He didn't want Tommy to feel guilty for no reason, but he wasn't sure how to present the actual problem either. He didn't _want_ to, even though he was aware that at this point, it was inevitable.

Niki stepped in before Tubbo had to formulate a response, placing a hand on Tommy's upper arm. "We'll figure that out. For now, can you get me a bucket or water and some cloth? We need to clean him up."

Tommy looked between her and Tubbo for a few moments, before groaning and nodding. Tubbo released his wrist so he could leave, noting that he seemed to quicken his pace once he left the room, before turning his attention to Niki when she perched herself on the edge of the bed, placing her hand over his. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? I feel better." Niki's nod of acknowledgement didn't give away whether she believed him or not. She shifted closer, hands moving slowly as she reached for his head. Tubbo's breath hitched in anticipation as Niki's fingers ran carefully through his hair to find what she believed to be a wound, and a moment later, her gasp rang accusingly in his ears.

He kept his eyes on her expression, half convinced that she would become angry, but all her features held was horror, confusion and concern. She didn't speak for a few moments, only silently staring at him with her fingers still holding his hair back, before she let out a soft exhale. "Tubbo, what-"

It was at this inopportune time that Tommy decided to return, announcing his return in a breathless voice that suggested he had run to get back. "I've got the water!" He pulled the bucket out from his inventory, his other hand holding a wad of fabric that came from the remains of his revolutionary outfit. 

Tommy hurried over to his bedside, and Tubbo could see the moment he spotted the problem, because he suddenly froze. Niki turned to look at him with a troubled expression of her own, and Tubbo watched nervously as emotions flickered across Tommy's eyes, as if he was trying to figure out how to feel. 

"What the fuck, are those horns?" Tommy finally settled into an uncertain chuckle, the upwards quirk of his lips born entirely of confusion. He stepped closer, setting the bucket of water down as his eyes darkened. "They look kinda like-"

"Schlatt's, I know." Tubbo cut him off with a bitter smile, a part of him desperate to justify himself before either of them got any ideas of what this meant by themselves. "I don't know where they came from, or why I have them now. They just started...growing a couple days ago."

There was a moment of silence before Tommy sighed, tension slowly leaving as he nodded, turning to hand Niki the cloth. She leaned down to dip it into the water, wringing the excess water out to leave it damp. "Christ, as if we need any more problems to deal with." Tommy grumbled, but when his eyes returned to Tubbo, they were soft, as was his voice. "Does it hurt?"

It was a question they both already knew the answer to, so Tubbo decided not to sugarcoat his answer. "Yeah. A lot, to be honest."

"Fuck." Tommy hissed through his teeth, looking away and clenching his trembling fist. Tubbo could tell he was angry for him rather than at him, he almost always was, and he felt a little guilty for that. He didn't want Tommy to feel worse because of him, but when bad things happened to him, there was no avoiding it.

Niki leaned forward, catching Tubbo's eye and raising the damp cloth. He nodded slightly, and with that permission, she reached forward to brush his hair out of the way before beginning to clean the blood, starting at his temples. It was cold, but knowing he wouldn't have to deal with dried blood on his face later made it feel wonderful. 

"You said it started growing a few days ago. Did it hurt then, too?" She said quietly, moving the cloth up to the base of his left horn. The pressure surprised him, causing a wince and Niki instantly reeled her hand back. 

"Sorry, they're just sensitive. You can keep going." Tubbo murmured sheepishly, and after a beat of hesitation, Niki returned to what she had been doing, using considerably less pressure. He swallowed thickly, eyes falling to his hands, folded against his stomach. "Uh, it actually hurt worse when they started growing, I think."

Niki pressed her lips together into a thin line, disapproval clear as day on her face as she moved to dip the cloth into the water again. "Why didn't you tell us? You shouldn't have to keep your pain to yourself."

"Well- Well, what could I have said?!" Tubbo burst out suddenly as he threw his hands up, startling both Niki and Tommy, who had since moved to seat himself on top of the chest beside the bed. He huffed, letting his arms fall to fold over his chest. "I had no idea how you guys would react! I mean, suddenly growing horns that are suspiciously reminiscent to the enemy might have some implications, right? I was worried you would- I dunno, reject me or something."

"We'd never." Niki instantly replied, words firm and eyes showing determination that felt like a weird contrast to her gentle administrations to his bloody horn.

"Yeah, it's not like you _want_ to have them. They don't mean anything." Tommy said that with such confidence and passion that it made Tubbo smile, reassured that his best friend believed so strongly in his loyalty. Of course, he had good reason to, because his loyalty to Tommy was always true. 

"Right, we know that, but not everyone will believe that." Tubbo, making sure that Niki was finished with her cleaning, turned his head to look at Tommy directly. "In this situation, you know that loyalty and sides are a huge thing. If Wilbur found out about this-"

"He won't." Niki interjected in a surprisingly sharp tone, hooking the cloth over the rim of the bucket. He couldn't quite see her eyes, but he could tell they were narrowed. Over the past few days, she'd had room to process Wilbur's development, and clearly she hadn't ended up being happy with it. "We certainly won't tell him."

"Not Techno, either." Tommy helpfully added, crossing his arms and leaning back against the stone wall. Nobody addressed the slight bitterness that comes with the name, because as much as Tommy tried to let it go, Tubbo knew that Techno's actions had left him unsettled. He turned to lock eyes with Tubbo, and flashed him a grin. "It's just us, remember? We've got your back."

Tubbo smiled back, huffing out a quiet laugh. "Yeah." His smile grew smaller as he looked away, towards the foot of the bed. He paused, before finally asking the most important question on his mind, not daring to rise over a whisper. "How big are they now?"

It was a vague question, but Tommy must have understood him, because he leaned over and squinted as he brushed Tubbo's hair out of the way. "Dunno how big they were earlier, but they're a couple inches tall now." Niki hummed in agreement, giving a nod as Tommy moved out of his personal space. 

Tubbo thought this over for a moment, before deciding that it would be infinitely easier if he just took a look at them himself. He pushed himself into a sitting position without giving any prior warning, which prompted Tommy to jump to his feet just as Niki moved to catch him by the shoulder, chiding him. "Tubbo, you nearly collapsed earlier. You need to rest."

"No, I'm fine now, I swear." Tubbo insisted, swatting lightly at Niki's hand before straightening up fully. He wasn't lying - similar to his first horn growth episode, it felt like he was never dizzy to begin with. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed so he was sitting beside Niki, leaning forward to check his reflection.

Looking back at him was his face, his hair ruffled from lying down, and from that mess protruded two solid points.

They weren't that big, all things considered - just a couple inches, like Tommy had said. But they were visible, and he felt like they stood out, harsh amongst the softness of his boyish image. "Shit." He muttered, reaching up to fix his bedhead and only achieving in making the horns look more prominent. He groaned, burying his head into his hands. "How am I gonna hide them _now_?"

"How'd you hide them before?" Tommy shot back, moving from the chest to sit on Tubbo's other side, leaving him sandwiched comfortably between them.

"With my hair." Tubbo deadpanned, lifting and turning his head slightly to peek over at the other boy. "They were only nubs earlier, so they didn't poke out or anything."

Tommy snorted at the look on his face, elbowing him lightly in the side. "Okay, well, the obvious answer to your problem is a hat, my friend." 

"Wow, I never even thought of that!" Tubbo gasped sarcastically, biting down a grin when Tommy swatted at his arm in retaliation. He let out a breath, becoming serious again. "Don't you think Wilbur would find it weird if I started to wear a hat out of nowhere? If he asks me to take it off, I'm done for."

"Right." Tommy mumbled, looking away as he leaned back on his hands, before letting out a long sigh. "I don't have any other ideas, I'm afraid. Can't you think of an excuse to wear a hat?"

Tubbo shrugged dismissively, even though he did genuinely try to think of a proper excuse that didn't come off as obviously fake. Niki made a sound of realisation, eyes lighting up as she placed her hands on his upper arm. "I know! I could make the hat for you. Wilbur wouldn't suspect it if we say it was a gift, right?"

He hummed in thought. It was a solid idea, but there was only one problem with it. "Why make me a hat though? It's not like it's my birthday or anything."

"We could say it's because you're self conscious about…" Tommy awkwardly trailed off, before motioning at the side of his own face. "Y'know."

Tubbo already knew what he was talking about, but he raised a hand to trace the edges of his burn scars anyway. He appreciated Tommy's sensitivity on the subject, even though he didn't feel particularly bothered by them. "Yeah. Yeah, that could work!"

He smiled at Tommy as he dropped his hand from his face, and Tommy gave his own victorious one back, glad that they reached a solution. Niki got to her feet, picking up the bucket and taking it with her. "I really will make a hat for you, by the way. It'll be a productive way to spend my afternoon."

"I'd love that, Niki." Tubbo replied cheerfully, fiddling with the red fabric tied around his right wrist. It did feel nice, to have a plan on how to move forward and support from his friends, even if it did mean having to acknowledge the keratin breaking out his skull. 

He supposed he would have had to acknowledge it eventually either way, considering its continued growth. 

He was tired.

Tubbo leaned against Tommy, and was pleasantly surprised when he didn't complain, instead just sitting up properly so their weight wasn't resting on his wrists. "Listen, man," Tommy said, words firm with belief as he looped an arm over his shoulders. "We'll figure out why this is happening to you. There's gotta be _some_ explanation."

(There has to be. Tubbo hopes there is, but he wonders if they'll actually be able to find it. He wonders if he really wants to know it.)

"Definitely." Niki hummed, patting Tubbo's shoulder before reaching over to ruffle Tommy's hair, ignoring his shriek of protest with a gentle laugh. "How about we have lunch? I made a cake this morning, all I have to do is frost it quickly."

Tommy grinned, running his fingers through his hair. "If you say it like that, I've gotta say yes. I haven't had one of your cakes fresh in ages."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought Tubbo would only have to go through one bout of intense pain, then you would be incorrect
> 
> Niki and Tommy find out about the situation, and thus, Tubbo's support system is established,, he deserves it


	3. the well is dry

Tubbo quite liked the hat Niki made him.

It was in the style of a breton cap, black with decorative flowers made of scrap fabric stitched to the band at his temples. It wasn't perfect, having been created within a single afternoon, but it was comfortable and fulfilled its intended purpose as a disguise, so it was good enough.

More importantly, their excuse worked. Wilbur had eyed his hat with interest when he first saw him with it, but had let go of any suspicions once Niki had swooped in and claimed it as her handiwork. Techno hadn't even batted an eye, though his reaction was never as much of a concern to begin with. Pogtopia adapted to Tubbo's new headwear without much of a hitch, and to top it all off, his hidden horns hadn't been causing him much physical discomfort since the day Niki and Tommy found out about them.

Basically, Tubbo was feeling pretty good when he found himself sitting with the rest of Pogtopia for dinner, a few days later. While Niki, Tommy and Tubbo stuck together as much as possible, it was a rarity for Techno or Wilbur to join them for meals, let alone both. 

It was an underlying tense atmosphere, but they made small talk as they ate baked potatoes with carrots. According to Tommy, the added side vegetables was an improvement to the bland potato only diet he mostly had to deal with before Niki had joined Pogtopia. 

Tubbo had just finished eating when Tommy suddenly rose to his feet, communicator in one hand. "Big Q's able to get out of Manburg tonight, so I'm gonna go pick him up."

He phrased it as a statement, not a question, but Wilbur still cleared his throat, reaching in Tommy's direction. "Hang on a second, Tommy. Techno said he was going hunting, don't you wanna go with him?"

The question came out of nowhere, and considering the tension between the two, it almost felt provocative. Tubbo wanted to believe that Wilbur was trying to force them together so they could reconcile to Tommy's comfort, but knowing the new Wilbur and how he had pushed them both into the Pit, he had a feeling that belief would be wrongly placed.

Techno, at least, seemed just as confused as the rest of them, raising an eyebrow as he took a bite from his third potato. "Am I?" Wilbur sent him a look, and he backtracked, sounding both unenthusiastic and unconvinced. "I mean, yes, absolutely. I love killing things and I'd love to kill things with you."

Tommy stared at him for a long moment before groaning, reaching up to massage the bridge of his nose. "Well, I can't just leave Quackity hanging, can I? He might have some important update on the progress of their stupid ass hotel and our plan." He dropped his hand to point a finger at Wilbur, turning to him with eyes flashing. "The plan, may I remind you, you agreed to!"

Wilbur's eyebrows pinched together, and really, Tubbo would blame his reluctance to listen to another argument for his impulsiveness, because it's not like he thought forcing Techno and Tommy to spend time together would be a good idea but he blurted out the words before he could stop himself. "Uh, I can go pick him up! I know the way back from Manburg like the back of my hand so that wouldn't be a problem."

Tommy's head snapped to face him, screaming with his eyes alone how much he hated that suggestion. Wilbur, on the other hand, seemed delighted, if his grin was anything to go by. He clapped his hands together, pointing them towards Tommy. "See? Tubbo can handle it! You go with Techno to stock up on our meat supply, okay?"

Tommy scowled, but chose to wordlessly plop back down instead of offer any counter argument. He propped his elbows up on his knees, hunching forward. "This is so fucking stupid, but say we go hunting. When are we going?"

Techno gave a long hum of thought aa he chewed on his potato, holding it in one hand while the other held his weight. As usual, he looked entirely too casual. "When I finish this potato, I guess." He mused once he had swallowed, and Tommy grumbled complaints, ducking his head down to keep them to himself.

Taking that as his cue, Tubbo hauled himself to his feet, rummaging around for his communicator. "Hey, Tommy, can you send me the coords for your meeting place with Quackity?" Tommy glanced up at his voice, and begrudgingly did as told. A buzz from the communicator in his hand proved the message had gone through, and Tubbo checked it quickly before smiling at the other, giving him a thumbs up. 

Tommy rolled his eyes, but he could make out the faint upturn of his lips.

A hand slipped into his, and Tubbo glanced over his shoulder in a moment of surprise to find Niki looking at him from where she was seated on the ground with mild worry. "Are you sure you'll be okay to go alone?" She murmured, low enough so the others likely wouldn't overhear.

Of course he knew why she was asking, and as if responding to the memory, pain prickled at the point his horns met his skull. He smiled back at her, because they had been hardly any problem for the last few days, and he felt pretty confident that he'd last the time it'd take to go collect Quackity. "I'm sure! I'll take Percy, so I'll be back quicker, if that makes you feel better."

Niki's gaze flickered across his face, as if searching for something in his expression, before she finally settled on a small smile and nodded. She let go of his hand. "Okay. Stay safe."

"I will."

Tubbo ignored Techno and Wilbur on his way out, placing a hand on Tommy's shoulder to offer him a grin of half hearted encouragement. Tommy inclined his head towards the exit and Tubbo, not wanting to keep Quackity waiting too long, took the hint. 

He readjusted his hat as he surfaced above ground, making sure to replace the dirt behind him before he had a chance to forget as he sighed happily. The breeze was refreshing in comparison to the stale cave air. He hopped down into the pit they used as a makeshift stable, and smiled as he reached out to pet his steed in greeting. "Hey Perce. Been a while since I took you on a ride, huh? Sorry you've been stuck with Tommy, he's heavy, isn't he?" Tubbo snorted at his own joke, before getting the horse prepared with the saddle and reins, practised motions making the process go by faster. 

Tubbo hauled himself up onto the saddle and led Percy out of the pit, squinting up at the sunlight streaming through the leaves and branches. After being confined underground for a couple days, with only the light of torches and furnace fires, the sun almost felt too bright, prompting a mild headache. He made sure to coax Percy into riding through the more shaded areas, and after a quick check of the coordinates of the exact meeting place, he set off. 

The journey to the meeting place - in a small clearing over the hill behind the demolished White House - went by without a hitch. Tubbo arrived to find Quackity already waiting for him, leaning against a tree. He wasn't wearing a suit, instead opting for a much more casual outfit, and Tubbo wasn't surprised. 

(Quackity had once complained to him, behind Schlatt's back, that even with the appropriate adjustments to accommodate his wings, the suit's fabric always felt a little too restrictive. He vividly remembers sympathising, because even without wings of his own, the tailored suit felt too stiff.)

Quackity's eyes lit up as soon as he spotted him, pushing off the tree and folding his arms over his chest with a grin. "Tubo! What a nice surprise!"

Tubbo scoffed, but he didn't try to hide his friendly smirk as the duck hybrid wandered closer to Percy, absentmindedly reaching to rub his muzzle. "I bet that's not true. I bet Tommy told you I was coming instead of him."

Quackity spluttered, feathers ruffling in mock offense. "Well, even if he _did_ tell me, finding out you were picking me up was still a nice surprise. And I was gonna start by saying I like your new hat if you hadn't pointed that out, by the way." He held out a hand expectantly, and Tubbo obliged, leaning down to help him up onto Percy.

"Aw, thanks, Big Q." Tubbo hummed as Quackity settled in behind him, turning to peek at him over his shoulder with a cheeky grin. "How've you been? It feels like I haven't seen you in ages." He wasn't exaggerating. The days have felt longer since his weird horn growth began, as even without his episodes of agony, the hours seemed to stretch on and on.

"Eh, same old, same old." Quackity drawled as Tubbo began the journey back to Pogtopia. "I've been trying to avoid Schlatt as much as believably possible, but you know how he is." Tubbo clicked his tongue because he did, in fact, know how Schlatt was. He had a habit of popping in unannounced to check up on people, to varying levels of frequency. 

Quackity laughed at his reaction, before deciding to change the topic. "Why couldn't Tommy come to get me, anyway? Did he get sick of me or something? 'Cause if so, he's clearly terrible at judging people."

"Did he not tell you?" Tubbo asked with a hint of surprise, idly wrapping the excess rein in a loose loop around his hand, and didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "Wilbur kinda forced him to go hunting with Techno as a bonding exercise, I guess." He paused, letting out a breathy half laugh. "To be honest, I have no idea why Wilbur wanted them to go together, because Techno can hunt just fine on his own, but I do know Tommy wasn't very-"

He abruptly cut himself off as black dots invaded the edges of his vision, pain running along his horns and spearing into his brain. Disoriented, he teetered to the side, fingers losing grip on the reins and he vaguely realised that he was in serious danger of falling directly off this horse, especially with the speed at which they were currently riding.

As soon as the thought dawned on him, it was instantly dashed as two arms came from behind him to grab at the reins with a loud curse, trapping him in their bracket. Quackity leaned forward to look at the route of his shoulder, and his wings were flared out on either side of Tubbo in alarm, as if to act as protection if his arms somehow failed at keeping him in place. That alarm transferred into his tone, which didn't sound calm in the slightest as he willed Percy to slow down. "What the fuck, Tubbo?! Are you okay? It looked like your balance just went to shit!"

Tubbo let out a long exhale, slumped back against Quackity as Percy finally slowed to a halt. "Yeah- Yeah, I'm fine, I just…" He ran a hand through the hair at his ear to avoid knocking into his horns, before stiffening when he realised that he _shouldn't be able to do that_. Dread pooled in his stomach, and he was quick to pull away from Quackity, lowering his head in an attempt to draw attention away from them. "My hat, my hat. Where's my hat?"

Quackity shot a quick look over his shoulder. "It fell off, I can go get it later but- Tubbo, what _was_ that? Are you feeling alright?" He reached out to grab Tubbo's arm and gently turn him towards him, panic still present in his tone, and Tubbo can hope as much as he wants to keep his secrets hidden but it means nothing. When he doesn't turn around, Quackity takes matters into his own hands, desperate to make sure the boy was fine, and manhandles him by his shoulders before he can protest.

Tubbo kept his eyes down, but he can tell when Quackity noticed his horns by the way his entire body, nervous restlessness and all, freezes. His hands remained on his shoulders, a comfortable warmth that felt out of place in his current situation.

"You have horns." Quackity said, voice steady and lacking in any real emotion. That alone terrified Tubbo. Quackity was never someone that spoke without emotion laced in his words, dramatic or otherwise, and for a moment, he could only stare back at him. He must have taken too long to react, because Quackity began talking again, the confusion and surprise leaking into his tone making things feel a little more normal. "Why do you have _horns_?"

An unprompted nervous giggle crawled up his throat, sounding only a little hysterical, and Tubbo shook his head lightly. "I'm gonna be completely honest with you, Quackity, I haven't got a clue."

A silence stretched between them, before Quackity gingerly removed his hands from his shoulders and instead let them drop to his sides. "You don't think Schlatt did it, do you?" He muttered lowly, barely audible when the breeze shook the nearby leaves if it weren't for their close proximity.

Tubbo hadn't allowed himself much time to think about the reason behind his horns, but in the short moments he had, it also always led back to something to do with Schlatt. He cleared his throat. "I dunno, do you?"

"I dunno, _can_ he?!" Quackity exclaimed, suddenly throwing his arms up with a frazzled expression as his wings flared outwards in tandem. He let out a loud groan, running his hands down his face. "It should be impossible. I mean, hybrids can't just _convert_ people or something. Believe me, I would know."

"Yeah, but the fact that I'm randomly growing horns would seem pretty impossible too if it wasn't actually happening." Tubbo pointed out with a faint smile, a part of him settling at the fact that Quackity seemed to be taking this development in stride. 

Quackity let out another groan and nodded, before carefully sliding off Percy. Not entirely sure what he was doing, Tubbo didn't follow him. "True, true. We can't rule anything out completely yet." He wandered backwards and paused to collect Tubbo's fallen hat, before turning around and hurrying back. 

Quackity pulled himself back onto Percy with a little help from his wings, handing a grateful Tubbo his hat. He quickly fixed his hair, taking a moment to run his fingers along the visible part of his horns. He couldn't be certain, but he was pretty sure they were a little taller, with the very beginnings of a curve at the tip. He put his hat back on his head, making sure it was secure as he was distracted by Quackity's words.

"If you want, I could try and snoop around Schlatt's things. I'm not sure if there'd be anything helpful, but it might be worth a shot."

Tubbo's heart skipped a beat, and he looked up a little too quickly. "Really?"

"If you want," Quackity repeated with a casual shrug, raising an eyebrow. Casual, but not joking. His eyes held a grave seriousness that still felt foreign on him. "It shouldn't be too hard. I just need to time it right." 

It reminded Tubbo of his own double agent experience. Timing was always important when it came to sneaking around, and he remembered certain information being requested and stressing out over figuring out where said information could be. A part of him wanted to tell Quackity it was unnecessary. 

Instead, he fidgeted with his sleeves before delivering a firm response, raising his head to make eye contact. "If you get an opportunity to, but don't risk your own safety for it. Don't try anything that might raise suspicion. In the end, I can live with some horns of mysterious origin, but I would feel really bad if you got in trouble trying to help me."

_'Or worse'_ went unsaid.

Quackity gave a solemn nod of understanding, which much have marked the end of the moment they were having, because his expression quickly lightened. He reached his arms around Tubbo again, grabbing the reins, and caught off guard, Tubbo quickly moved to turn himself back around.

"So are we getting back to Pogtopia or what?" Quackity cheerfully hummed, as if nothing had happened, and spurred Percy back into movement before Tubbo could do anything. 

"Hey, I can steer Percy myself." Tubbo grumbled, trying to take the reins from Quackity's webbed grasp. Quackity didn't relent. "You don't even know the way! That's the whole reason I had to come pick you up to begin with!"

"Yeah, and in case you've forgotten, you nearly fell _off_ the horse a minute ago, so I think I'm the safest option here." Quackity retorted, shaking Tubbo's hands off the reins. "Besides, you're here and you know the way, so you can just give me directions, right?"

Tubbo wanted to protest, but instead he relaxed against the duck hybrid. He hated the fact that everyone was treating him like he was fragile as soon as he showed any level of difficulty, but he understood where it was coming from. While the wave of pain this time around had been shockingly short, it had made up for that by leaving a lingering sense of disorientation behind, instead of suddenly evaporating into thin air. Logically, someone who was disoriented should not be in charge of leading any form of transportation. 

"Fine."

They made it back to Pogtopia relatively smoothly, aside from a few hiccups in the form of a turn or two at the wrong tree. He had noticed, within that time frame, that he was bleeding again, but it didn't seem to be enough to start running down the sides of his face, so he was content to let it dry and deal with the aftermath later. 

Tubbo stumbled slightly when he slid off Percy, but Quackity was there to steady him, eyebrows pinched together. "Maybe you should go lay down, man. Take a nap or something."

"Maybe." Tubbo mumbled as they clambered out of the horse pit, and he noticed that Techno's horse was gone. He guessed Tommy and Techno _did_ end up going hunting. He helped Quackity dig into Pogtopia's entrance, and helped him block it back up again, before he remembered something just in time. He stopped Quackity before he could start to descent down the stairs by grabbing his arm, and responded to the glance Quackity gave him with an awkward shuffling of feet. "Can you not mention this stuff to Wilbur and Techno? They- They don't know about all...this."

He motioned to his hat, and understanding flashed in Quackity's eyes before he nodded with a sly smile. "My lips are sealed." 

Tubbo smiled back, following Quackity as he made his way down into the ravine. He made sure to stick closer to the walls, closer than he usually did, because they still didn't have railings and Tubbo probably shouldn't test his luck any further. 

Once he reached his humble room, he parted from Quackity with a wave, lingering in his doorway to watch him venture further down in search of someone to report back to. He entered his room, and waited for the sound of the door creaking closed to stop before he tugged his hat off and put it down at the foot of his bed. 

Tubbo then proceeded to gracelessly collapse onto the bed himself, sighing as he processed the fact that Quackity knew about his horns, and was actively going to help him. It was good news, but the fact that Quackity had found out at all was not ideal. He had to be more aware of his hat, make sure he didn't accidentally lose it like that again, otherwise the hat would be pointless. 

He stared up at the stone ceiling blankly, more than happy to sink into the mattress. He knew he had to, sooner rather than later, but Tubbo really didn't want to consider everything that could go wrong. He wished he could have been granted the small mercy of not having to worry about the consequences of his new spontaneously generating set of body parts, on top of all the other political and general problems he had. 

Huh.

Tubbo ran his tongue along his upper lip, and he could almost imagine the taste of something sweet and crisp lingering on it. 

He was craving apples.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is 1am for me at time of posting and I have nothing to say for myself except that Big Q is wonderful and I love him


	4. the smoke clears

Tubbo woke up to deathly silence.

The thing about Pogtopia was that it was never silent. Usually he could hear the sounds of the others moving around and their exchanged words, or the crackling of the furnace fires. Even if there was nobody else in the ravine, the sound of the running water was a constant presence.

Needless to say, the fact that there was silence was a little scary, because it said more about his own ears than the actual state of his environment.

Tubbo sat up, a groggy panic flooding his mind as he stumbled out of bed to drop to his knees beside the chest at his bedside. He took a breath, blinking the haze out of his eyes as he rested his hands against the lid. This chest in particular, he knew, had a rather loud creak when opened far enough, so it was the first thing he could think of to test his hearing with.

He braced himself for the worst, before opening the chest. His relief wasn't quite as strong as he thought it'd be when the familiar creak filled his ears, but that probably had something to do with the fact that it sounded slightly muffled, as if travelling through a pane of glass. At the very least, it was proof he hadn't gone deaf, and that was more than enough for him.

As he got ready for the day, sorting out his inventory and thinking about what he was going to do today, his hearing gradually became clearer until he could hear the distant sounds of the stream and conversation again. It was as if his hearing had restarted, and was coming back online. An uncomfortable feeling, sure, but not painful. 

Did this also have something to do with his horns? That wouldn't make much sense, because horns weren't connected to ears and even if they were, this reaction felt a bit delayed, but it also made more sense than any other explanation he could think of.

He pretended he didn't notice the fact his ears seemed to be slightly more curved than before, and instead focused on going to get something to eat. Hopefully something that wasn't potato.

* * *

The base of his horns felt hot. 

It was a burning sort of pain, like a milder version of rubbing lemon on a cut. He wasn't sure if it was because of the stuffiness under the hat, but he didn't want to risk taking it off, even when he was just with Tommy and Niki. 

They were outside, for once, sitting in a small flower patch along the coastline, hidden by a cliff. Niki had insisted they have lunch outside, to get in some fresh air and spend some time together, and Tommy now had free time that he used to spend training with Techno, so he readily accepted. It was nice, the gentle hiss of the waves and the sea air mingling into a calming curtain over them. Tubbo wished that there were bees, but they didn't come to this flower patch, because it was a little too close to the sea.

He also wished that his horns would stop feeling so heated - it was starting to become itchy, and he wasn't sure if it was safe to actually scratch at them. 

Tubbo reached up to lift his hat, just enough to wriggle his hand underneath it. His fingers tentatively found his left horn, prodding at it experimentally and wincing at the bolt of pain that followed. Still sensitive, he supposed. 

"It's still bothering you, huh?" Tommy mumbled through a mouthful of food, and while his tone is casual, Tubbo can see the upset clear as day in his eyes. He knew Tommy hated his discomfort, and the fact that they don't know why it was happening, perhaps more so than Tubbo did. That was just how Tommy was - he felt things strongly, fiercely, and it was those things that fuelled him.

"A little." Tubbo chuckled with a small smile, even though that was a bit of an understatement. He pulled his hand back, tugging his hat back into position. 

Tommy stared at him for a moment before huffing, breaking off part of his berry muffin and shoving it in Tubbo's face. Tubbo blinked, but accepted the offering before Tommy could change his mind, popping it in his mouth and humming in happiness at the burst of sweetness. "Have you tried using healing potions?"

Tubbo nodded, waiting until he finished eating to verbally respond. "Yeah, but they don't really help. Probably because the pain isn't being caused by an injury or something." He didn't mention that using a potion every time he felt pain would also be horrible to try and maintain, especially when they didn't know how long it would take for the horns to finish growing, if the pain even stopped with the growth.

"Shit." Tommy's shoulders slumped at the quick dismissal of his idea. Niki quietly pulled a bottle of water out of her inventory and handed it to Tommy, who uncorked it to take a swig.

Niki handed Tubbo a bottle of water too, looking at him with a thoughtful expression. He took the bottle, enjoying the feeling of cool glass against his palms, and as he did, Niki softly offered a suggestion. "Maybe you could go to Eret for some pain relief techniques? He has a lot of potion resources, and his castle isn't on Manburg land."

Tommy almost choked on his water, and he cleared his throat as he hastily corked his bottle again. He looked up, eyes firm. "Hell no! We're not going to fucking _Eret_ of all people!"

"Why not?" Niki questioned, a faint frown settling on her face as she turned her attention to Tommy with downturned brows. She leaned closer, reaching to cover one of Tommy's hands with her own. "I know you don't want to trust him, and I don't blame you for that, but he's got resources and he's willing to help."

Tommy sucked in a breath, the hand underneath Niki's balling into a fist, but he kept his voice controlled when he responded. Tommy had started controlling himself more nowadays, and Tubbo had an unfortunate feeling that it was to compensate for Wilbur's lack of such. "Eret was a traitor, how am I supposed to trust him? Especially in a time like this, where everyone seems hellbent on betraying everyone else!" Despite his struggle, his volume still rose to a shout, and he paused to take another breath and push the rest of his thoughts out in a rush. "Sure, his castle isn't on Manburg land, but who's to say he won't rat us out to Schlatt anyway? And Schlatt would bullshit his way into justifying our deaths even though we didn't break his stupid ban."

"Eret wouldn't do that. He doesn't like Schlatt being in power any more than we do." Niki bit her lip, disappointment and understanding clashing in her eyes. She carefully coaxed Tommy to relax his hand, enough so she could hold it properly. "I know he regrets betraying L'Manburg, if only because he misses being your friend. You don't have to trust him, but maybe you could think about it? He could prove himself by helping us."

Tommy didn't reply, only twisted his hand gently out of Niki's grip. Tubbo glanced between the two of them, twisting the edge of the fabric at his wrist as he decided to throw in his two cents. "Yeah, I mean, if he's able to help me with my pain, then it might be worth a shot, right? It's not like we have any other options." It was a slightly underhanded way to try and convince him, but in full honesty, Tubbo was fed up with animosity towards Eret, even though he understood the justification. He had long since forgiven him, and in their current situation, it would be good to be in contact with people who genuinely want to help, even if it was a former traitor.

Betrayal was becoming commonplace nowadays, anyway. Eret's selfish actions weren't the exception anymore.

Tommy picked at his trousers as he stared with a neutral expression, before sighing heavily and nodding. "Yeah, I guess I can _think_ about it. I dunno if I really want to give him a chance." He straightened up, as much as was comfortable with his usually terrible posture, looking Tubbo straight in the eye. "But...but if the pain gets any worse for you, Tubbo, then we'll go straight to Eret for help."

Tubbo grinned, and in his peripheral, he could see Niki smile in relief too. "That sounds like a plan!" He opened his bottle of water and took a sip, and the tension that had settled once Niki had brought Eret up finally dissipated.

"It's a very nice day today, isn't it?" Niki commented airily, leaning back against the rock of the cliff face. Tommy shifted to sit beside her instead of opposite so he could look out at the rolling waves, incidentally ending up between the other two. "Maybe we can go look for a beehive later."

"Oh! Can we, please?" Tubbo's face lit up, and he leaned closer to his companions, bracing himself against an amused Tommy. "Honey could also be a really important thing to collect. You know, in case any of us get poisoned."

"You're right. Of course we can go!" Niki laughed, eyes twinkling in the afternoon sun, enjoying the sight of Tubbo's own happiness.

"Hey, don't get too excited, big man." Tommy snorted, poking Tubbo in the side with an elbow even as his lopsided grin showed that Tubbo's spike of happiness had already rubbed off on him. "You probably won't even find one."

"Shut up, I totally will!" Tubbo playfully swatted at Tommy's arm, and ducked when Tommy tried to get him in a headlock in retaliation. He knew Tommy was right, but he had been distracted enough that the burning didn't feel so prominent, and he was determined to ride that giddy high for as long as possible. Tubbo shot up to his feet to make sure Tommy couldn't grab him and took off into the flowers, giggling as Tommy scrambled to chase after him with a shout. He glanced over his shoulder, sticking out his tongue. "I'm the bee whisperer! I'll be able to find so many beehives, you'll be jealous of how many honey bottles I have by the end of today!"

"Yeah, _sure_."

"Hey, it's true!"

* * *

That night, Tubbo decided to be a bit reckless. 

Niki had been right about Eret - he had resources, and he was willing to help them. He clearly didn't support Schlatt, at least. And on a more biased note, Tubbo had missed him. Even during his time in Manburg, his busy schedule and Eret's refusal to leave his castle most days meant they hadn't crossed paths much. It would be nice to be on the same side again, he thought.

His horns weren't irritating him then, ironically, so it couldn't be blamed on a lapse of judgement when he messaged Quackity asking about how safe he thought it would be to visit Eret. He didn't change his mind in the ten minutes it took Quackity to respond either, which he spent kicking his legs as he sat on his bed.

_Quackity whispers to you: yeah it should be fine_

_Quackity whispers to you: if u go to the castle from behind, all u have to deal with is erets guards_

_Quackity whispers to you: and im guessing theyre fine with u_

_Quackity whispers to you: just dont be an idiot and be careful_

_You whisper to Quackity: ok thanks_

_You whisper to Quackity: good night :)_

Tubbo snuck into Tommy's room to borrow his jacket, hoping it would help him blend into the darkness of the night and doubling as an opportunity to make sure his best friend was sound asleep. He was, and for a moment, Tubbo longed to curl up beside him and sleep like they used to, but he had business to attend to so he left quickly, shrugging the jacket on. It was black and lined with dyed wool, the stitches looking a little sloppy despite the fact they held - he had to roll up the sleeves because they swamped him, but it was hardly his fault that Tommy was so disproportionately tall.

It was just past 1am when Tubbo snuck out of Pogtopia, being as silent as possible to avoid attracting Techno's attention, who he knew was working on the potato farm at the bottom of the ravine. It was windy outside, and Tubbo had a feeling it was going to rain, but he knew trying to take Percy with him would make things harder, resigning himself to walking the entire way.

It was half an hour later that he approached Eret's castle, sticking close to the trees as the rain he predicted began to fall. The stone walls stood proud and imposing, the intimidation offset by the gentle glow of lanterns and the shine of light through rainbow glass, making the castle seem more like a welcoming beacon. Tubbo was more than happy to follow its call, one hand on his hat to make sure the growing wind didn't disturb it as he made his way towards the back of the castle rather than the front, like Quackity had suggested.

When the stationed guards caught sight of him, he made sure to lift his chin up so they could see his face from underneath the brim of his hat, walking over to meet them in large strides. They hesitated for long enough that Tubbo was able to start worrying they didn't recognise him - they knew him from brief letter deliverances in the past, surely his scars didn't alter his appearance _that_ much - but he was, eventually, escorted into the castle itself.

Despite the late hour, a small part of Tubbo had expected to be taken to the throne room, as that had always been the case with his rare visits, so he was a little surprised when they bypassed it entirely and went up a staircase. They arrived at an oak door, which the guard knocked on twice before entering, holding the door open for Tubbo to shuffle in after them.

"You have a guest, Your Majesty." The guard announced as Tubbo glanced curiously around the area. It was a small library of sorts, small enough that it was most likely Eret's private library, with bookshelves lining the walls and torches hung up in the spaces in between. There was a table in the center of the room, surrounded by four chairs and hosting a few stacks of books itself. Eret was sitting in one of those chairs, relaxed with a book in his hands. His usual sunglasses weren't on, leaving the milky white glow of his eyes on full display, and he was wearing an elegant pastel green nightgown - if Tubbo couldn't see the book Eret had clearly been engrossed in, he would have worried he'd disturbed his sleep. 

"A guest at this time of-?" Eret glanced up with mild curiosity, only for his words to trail off. With his lack of pupils, it was hard to tell, but Tubbo was certain his eyes widened before he hurriedly pushed to stand. "Tubbo?" The disbelief in his voice was understandable, but there seemed to be an undercurrent of _hope_ that he hadn't been expecting.

The guard must have taken the hint that this was going to be a sensitive confrontation, because they silently excused themself, leaving only the click of the door behind in their wake. Eret strode over to them, arms lifting to reach out towards him as he offered the monarch a nervous smile. "I hope I'm not intruding."

Eret shook his head, quick to reassure them. "Never. You're a friend, you're always welcome in my castle." He came to a stop, hands hovering near the sides of Tubbo's face as his tone quietened. "Can I touch you?"

His smile became a little more genuine at that, appreciating the thoughtfulness behind the question, and Tubbo nodded. He expected Eret to touch his scars, because there seemed to be a trend of people tracing his burns to process their existence, but instead he found himself wrapped into a warm hug. His arms settled comfortably on his shoulders, the embrace itself firm and secure, and after a moment of hesitance, Tubbo gently returned it. He savoured the sense of safety it brought him, a nostalgic sort of safety despite everything the other had done. 

"I wasn't at the festival." Eret murmured, a fact that Tubbo had already known when he hadn't seen him from up on stage, but the monarch didn't elaborate his point until he had pulled away from the hug. In place of an embrace came slightly less distracting hands on his shoulders, a grounding weight. Tubbo made sure his hat was still on properly, as discreetly as possible. "I misremembered the date, thought it was on the Sunday. Plus, I was working on some blueprints for a building project on the day, and you know how I get when I have a spark of inspiration." Eret chuckled, a warm sound that instinctively soothed his nerves, but the sound tapered off into something empty. "I heard, though. About what happened at the festival. You didn't deserve that, no matter what you could have done against him." And then that emptiness was filled with something low and bitter. It wasn't righteous anger, like Tommy, and Tubbo couldn't quite pin it down. The fingers on his shoulders tense, but they don't tighten, and he's certain that took a conscious effort. "I want to say I'm shocked that Schlatt would do such a thing, but in hindsight, he would definitely stoop to that level."

"Yeah." Tubbo said awkwardly, not sure how else to respond. He tugged at the rolled sleeves of Tommy's jacket, gaze falling to his feet. "But I'm okay now. I'm staying with Tommy and Niki in Pogtopia and it's...it's nice." It wasn't _technically_ incorrect, if he ignored the tension in the ravine, and Wilbur's fragile state, and- oh yeah! _The horns underneath his hat._

He cleared his throat to refocus himself, feeling Eret's hands slip further down his shoulders to his upper arms. Tubbo looked back up, letting his face settle into seriousness. "I do need some help, though."

Eret's hands left him entirely, and while his expression fell into something solemn, his eyes were soft. "I see." He stepped back, lips curling upwards as he gestured towards the table. "Take a seat, then. Do you want something to drink? Tea? Hot chocolate?"

Tubbo wanted to say no, because it would be a waste of time and he had to get back to Pogtopia before anyone realised he was gone - but he vaguely remembered getting to try Eret's hot chocolate once before, when their meager resources allowed for it. A pick-me-up treat, he had said, and though it wasn't much, it had tasted heavenly. He remembered him and Tommy whining about how they'd never be able to taste it again, seeing as cocoa was hard to afford in a war, and the way Eret had laughed, patting their shoulders as he promised to make them as much hot chocolate they wanted once they had won.

He didn't dare think about what happened after that, but it was enough to convince him to smile. "Hot chocolate would be nice."

* * *

Tubbo found himself sat across from Eret, pulling a pleasantly warm cup of hot chocolate towards him as the other stirred his own. He was mildly surprised to find that the hot chocolate had whipped cream and marshmallows too - in the war, that had been impossible, but of course Eret could afford them now, he was a _king_ \- but he certainly wasn't complaining. He took a sip, closing his eyes to indulge in the taste while he could before they were inevitably dragged into business.

"The hot chocolate tastes as good as it did last time." Tubbo said conversationally once it became obvious that Eret was waiting for him to start the conversation, licking some traces of whipped cream from the corner of his mouth. 

"Well, I'm glad I haven't lost my touch." Eret laughed, lifting his cup to his mouth for a drink. He smiled politely as he set it down, and Tubbo wasn't sure if it was just because it was Eret, but he had a feeling he was trying to keep this serious discussion as lighthearted as possible. "So what is it that you need help with? Shelter? Clothes? Tools? I'm sure I have whatever you might need."

Tubbo kept his hands wrapped around the cup even as he leaned back in his chair, willing himself to relax. This was important. "Yeah, I was wondering if you have anything that could help with general pain relief? Stuff that wouldn't be helped by a healing pot, like headaches and stuff?"

"Why'd you need it? Is everyone okay?" Eret immediately asked, with such genuine concern that, at this hour of night, Tubbo might have teared up if he wasn't panicking with the question.

He trusted Eret, even though Tommy might think it's a bad idea. He trusted him, but he didn't want anyone else to know about his horns. It was the kind of secret situation that felt fragile, like he was hanging on by a thread, and if too many people found out, it would all go to shit and he'd end up plummeting. 

"No, no, we're all fine! It's just," Tubbo did his best not to actively flounder, eyes flicking downwards to his hot chocolate as he gave himself a split second to think before continuing. "My scars have been bothering me recently, but healing pots don't work because there's nothing left to heal after my respawn." 

He absentmindedly brushed his fingertips over the faint burns on the back of his hand, and tried not to feel annoyed by the look of disguised pity he recieved. Eret gave a hum, pressing a finger to his lips. "I have some oils that could help. Rosemary and...ginger, maybe? We could give those a try first."

Tubbo nodded, and the two lapsed back into silence as they drank their hot chocolate. He considered a few questions he wanted to ask, trying to figure out a way to ask them without giving away why he wanted to know. After all, Eret was smart, and had access to all those books. Maybe he could help him. 

"I've been doing a lot of thinking in Pogtopia, recently." He slowly started, and Eret seemed to perk up, smiling to encourage him to continue. He did, with a small, forced laugh. "Nothing big, but I guess anything would feel like a lot when before that, I was so busy I didn't have time to think." He lifted a hand to rub at the nape of his neck, eyes drifting to the window overlooking the forest, made of dark blue glass. "Like, I've been thinkin' of hybrids a lot recently."

"Hybrids, huh?" Eret mused, pushing his now empty cup aside to prop his elbows on the table. "Well, that isn't an area of expertise of mine, unfortunately. It'd probably be easier to ask Fundy if you have any actual questions, but I don't mind hearing your thoughts."

Tubbo didn't mention that he wasn't sure if he could actually talk to Fundy, because he wasn't sure where they stood with each other now. He leaned forward, fingers tightening around the cooling cup. "Do you think there's a way to _become_ a hybrid? I know hybrids can't change anyone, but do you think there's any other way? I mean, they must have originated from somewhere, right?"

Eret tilted his head, lips pressed into a thin line as his brows creased. "Interesting thoughts. I mean, I think they originated as mutations long ago, glitches in code, you know? But even they were born like that. You're suggesting that someone whose originally human turns into a hybrid, right?" Tubbo nodded, and Eret made a noise of acknowledgement. "Assuming you mean organically grow into a hybrid and not, like, artificial surgery," Tubbo winced at the idea, "I only have one possible idea, and even that's unlikely."

Hope bloomed like a rose in his chest. Unlikely or not, any sort of explanation would be good, right? He tried not to look or sound too eager when he replied, but he was pretty sure he failed. "What is it?"

"Well, the only way someone can be transformed or otherwise have their body modified permanently is through a curse." Eret replied matter-of-factly, sternness replacing any remnant of happiness in his expression. Tubbo felt his stomach drop. "But not just anyone can deliver curses, so that's why it's unlikely to happen."

"Curses, did you say?" Tubbo echoed, hoping the waver in his voice didn't sound as prominent as he thought it did. He couldn't help the fact that the word 'curse' held scary connotations! "I'm guessing only witches can deliver them."

Eret exhaled slowly, leaning back in his chair as he hooked one arm over the back. "Not necessarily? From what I'm aware, witches usually rely on advanced potions. If they ever actually curse someone, in a way that doesn't involve some shady brewing, then they've supposedly been granted that ability from a high power."

"What do you mean a high power?" Tubbo suddenly felt like he was out of his depth, even more so than usual, and that was a feat in itself, considering all his accumulating problems. 

Eret, on the other hand, shrugged like this was all ordinary information. To be fair, it may have something to do with the fact that Eret thought this discussion was based on a hypothetical and not a very real situation Tubbo was in. "Yeah. They vary in actual powers, but most of them have sway over their surroundings. And, unlike World Admins, they're not tethered to rules or a single place, so they're arguably more dangerous." A small grin appeared on his face. "Supposedly, though. To most people, it's a legend."

"You know a lot about curses, huh?" Tubbo mumbled with a lopsided smile, mostly given for appearances as he tried to process what Eret had laid out before him. What did that possibility even _mean_ , in regards to him?

"What can I say? I got really interested in them when I got hit with one of my own." Eret's grin morphed into a sardonic smirk, tapping just underneath one of his unnaturally pale eyes. He looked more tired than before, as if the reminder had sucked his remaining energy out of him.

"Sorry." Tubbo blurted out before he could stop himself, slightly guilty for accidentally leading back into something Eret was sensitive about. Eret's smirk softened into something more gentle, and he waved a dismissive hand.

"It's fine. It happened ages ago, and the worst of it was really only the beginning. Shame my vision won't ever be as good as it once was, though." Eret sighed, standing up before raising an eyebrow with a smile as he straightened his nightgown. "Now, let's go get those oils for you before I forget. Are you going to be staying for long, or do you have to go back soon? I might have some old clothes that would be more comfortable for you to wear if you're staying."

Tubbo smiled weakly, downed the last bit of his hot chocolate, and rose to his feet.

* * *

It was just after 4am when Tubbo decided to leave, to make sure he would get back to Pogtopia before Tommy or Niki woke up. He didn't want them to worry if he wasn't there. Eret had given him a friendly hug for the road, and had reminded him to tell Tommy and Wilbur that his offer still stands, that he'd still help them if needed.

He didn't have the heart to tell Eret that the Wilbur that existed now was not one he would want forgiveness from, anyway. 

Tubbo began to walk back to their ravine base, following the moonlight through the clouds and counting himself lucky that the worst of the rain had passed while he was indoors, as thoughts of curses plagued his confused, tired mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eret enters!! things are getting spicy and its only going to get spicier
> 
> but before that, let's give a round of a applause to tubbo finally having a meaningful interaction with someone that doesn't end in him exposing himself!! we love that for him


	5. words are kindling

They were at a stalemate, Tubbo thought.

Tommy had told him about the plan he and Quackity had created to assassinate Schlatt, and about how Wilbur had agreed to it. It was meant to take place on the opening night of the new Manburg Hotel, where Quackity would lure Schlatt into a private room so they could get rid of him once and for all.

Which was a good plan, all things considered, but that did leave them with a month or two of waiting time as the hotel was built. A month or two of constant tension and a vague anticipation.

Tubbo didn't like being alone with Wilbur much anymore. Perhaps it was because of how disturbing it was to know how unhinged he could really be, even if he seemed to have mellowed out during this pause of action - though it was debatable how much of his new attitude was really new. Maybe he had just had a brilliant facade to hide behind, and now they were seeing through the cracks.

Still, no matter how much he disliked it, they lived in the same space so it inevitably happened. Tubbo usually tried to make conversation, topics that couldn't possibly be redirected back into talk of their current situation, and sometimes it was almost comfortable. The one exception to this rule had been when Tubbo asked him what he thought of Tommy and Quackity's plan, because he was unbearably curious as to how they managed to slow his descent so quickly.

Wilbur laughed, and the sound was almost normal, light despite the heavy implications of the words that followed. "Oh, I don't think it's going to work."

Tubbo's blood froze in his veins. "Then- Then why are you letting them go ahead with it? If you don't think it stands a chance, why let them run the risk?"

"I thought I'd humour them." Wilbur said breezily, as if the topic was unimportant, holding his hands over the campfire in front of them. "They agreed to keep my plan of blowing it all to kingdom come as a backup, so if they need to try some staged assassination to get it out of their system before they see my plan was right, then I can wait. If I don't, they'd try to stop me again, so there isn't much point."

Tubbo watched him out of the corner of his eye, saw the spark of mania in his eyes contrasted by his smug, but mostly normal, smile. He saw the way the campfire made his face glow with shades of orange, yellow and gold, promises of destruction and chaos.

Tubbo looked away, and kept silent. If Wilbur was bothered by the lack of reaction that followed his admission, he didn't say anything.

No, he didn't like being left alone with Wilbur anymore.

* * *

The oils that Eret had been working remarkably well as pain relief, actually, so Tubbo felt a little nervous when nearly a week after his visit, the pain only mounted once the oils were applied.

It was a dull headache that weighed him down, and Tubbo thought that it probably wasn't a good idea for him to leave the ravine today, considering his track record with headaches. He traded jobs with a good-natured Niki, who was more than happy to go and collect wood for their fires while he stayed at the base to cook an excess of rabbit stew. They had too many mushrooms, she had said, and they had to use them eventually.

Tommy was neglecting doing anything productive to keep Tubbo company, claiming that usually he would spend this time training with Techno, but it was potato replant day and Techno wouldn't give that up for anyone. Tubbo didn't think that was entirely true but he didn't correct him, allowing Tommy to watch him prepare the rabbit and give unnecessary yet funny commentary. It wasn't enough to distract him from the faint pressure in his skull, but it was enough to make him feel as comfortable as one could be, joking around with his best friend as he followed the instructions Niki had written for him.

Tommy left as he added the broth to the pot, called to duty by Quackity, who needed to be collected. He grumbled that Quackity should know the way by now as he ran up the stairs, but they both knew he didn't mind, because Tommy enjoyed the ride back. 

Tubbo was left alone to wait for the stew to cook. He checked the time, planning to add the potatoes and carrots into the pot later to avoid them getting overly mushy, before moving to prepare ingredients for another batch. Without Tommy to banter with, his headache felt worse, the pressure in his head growing without anywhere to escape.

At this point, he already knew what would likely entail, so he put the knife away and sat himself down on the floor to wait it out. He wasn't going to get caught off guard and accidentally cut his finger off in the process - he liked to think he was smarter than that.

It proved to be a good decision, because his pain manifested less than five minutes later, just not in the way he had expected.

Sure, the base of his horns exploded with pain again, but that was mostly overshadowed by the sharp, stabbing agony that shot through both his ears. He reeled back, accidentally knocking his head against the stone wall behind him - which, for the record, did nothing to help his current situation, though luckily he was a bit too preoccupied to care.

Tubbo reached up, covering his ears with his hands. He wasn't entirely sure what he was planning to achieve, but that felt like the right thing to do as he curled into himself, shuddering as his head continued to throb. His ears were starting to ring alongside the pain, and his breath grew laboured as he pressed his hands harder against his ears, hunching over. 

Goddamnnit, he had gotten used to the horn episodes, now he had to deal with  _ this _ ? How was this  _ fair _ ?!

The horns were bleeding again, he sullenly noted as he screwed his eyes shut and tried not to think about how tight his chest felt. All he could hear was his own rushing heartbeat in his ears, the ringing having gone to such high pitches that it was barely audible anymore, despite clearly still having an adverse effect on his migraine.

Then he couldn't hear anything at all, and his breath caught in his throat. 

Tubbo pushed himself to keep breathing, even though he was aware that he had started to bodily twitch and tremble. He focused on taking shaking breaths in and out of a constricted chest, until he was distracted by the distinct feeling of something wet running down the inner canal of both his ears.

He was almost scared to check what it was when he felt liquid come into contact with his palms, so he didn't. Not immediately, at least. Instead, Tubbo took a few more moments to breathe through the pain, until he felt like he wasn't about to crumble as soon as he pulled his hands away from the sides of his head.

He carefully inched his left hand away from his ear, unnerved by the lack of sound that followed, and moved it enough to catch sight of the bright red now staining his palm. Great. That was good, except it wasn't, and he proceeded to push his hand back against his ear as he tried to figure out how he thought about the matter.

His breath kept catching every other inhale, and the feeling of drying blood against his ears was uncomfortable. Tubbo was certain he had disturbed his hat a little throughout everything, but with the ball of agony in his head, he couldn't bring himself to fix it.

Tubbo practically leapt out of his skin when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder. His eyes snapped open, and despite the protest of his head, he lifted it to frantically look for the source. 

Considering everything had been overwhelming him, it was disorienting to suddenly freeze as, through his vision blurred by pinprick tears, he recognised that  _ Techno _ was the one knelt in front of him.

He must have emerged from potato harvesting, because he could make out a giant sack of potatoes beside him. His stony expression made the worry and uncertainty in the crease of his brows stand out and his lips were moving, but of course, Tubbo couldn't hear him. 

A bitter part of him spat at the pig hybrid for being so concerned for him when he had betrayed that right after shooting him in the chest with a firework, and the thought was so sudden that it surprised him. Tubbo had already forgiven Techno, and he wasn't one to hold grudges for too long anyway, so where the hell had that come from? He swallowed thickly, hating the way his eardrums seemed to prickle at the movement of his throat. 

Techno suddenly reached for his face, cupping a cheek with a calloused hand and setting the other on the back of his head, then tried to pull him towards his chest. His scars had never really bothered me, yet with the cause in contact with them, they seemed to burn like a renewed flame, and any scrap of composure Tubbo had for this situation dissolved in an instant.

Tubbo began to thrash, kicking out at the presence in front of him while throwing his head back and out of Techno's hands. He ignored the protest his head had to that decision, and the way his vision swam, and the sudden cold air that blanketed his budding horns in favour of relief as Techno took the message, withdrawing his hands and holding them up in surrender. 

If Techno had any reaction to his horns, it wasn't external. He may have had a verbal reaction, as he was talking again, but it made no difference to Tubbo. There was obviously some miscommunication between them, so Tubbo tapped the sides of his head with his pointer fingers, keeping his hands fixed over his ears, before gently shaking his head. His breath still wasn't coming to him properly, but he realised that a tiny improvement came in the fact that the pain in his ears had receded, replaced by that damn ringing.

Techno's eyes widened in realisation, and he reached for Tubbo's wrist, pausing to look at him for permission. Tubbo inclined his head in a show of permission despite every fibre of his being screaming at him for it, because he childishly yearned for comfort, and found that calloused palm encircling his wrist. Techno guided his hand away from his ear, gaze flickering down to the blood for a brief moment. His frown deepened, but he didn't pause in his steering, pressing Tubbo's hand flat against his chest, seemingly uncaring of the blood that now stained his white shirt.

He could feel the rise and fall of Techno's chest, along with the occasional rumble of words he couldn't hear, and it took him a few more stuttered breaths before he realised the intention and tried to breathe in time with him. He couldn't begin to try and guess how long it took, but eventually, he was able to breath steadily again. Even better, the pain in his head had started to lessen and the ringing did too, allowing sound to start filtering back into his awareness. 

"That's it, keep breathing in that sweet, sweet oxygen. Breath control is important for fighting, you know. Gotta keep your inhales and exhales in time with your movements to get maximum power from 'em." Tubbo had to hold back a laugh as he finally had the opportunity to tune into Techno's rambling, wriggling his hand from the pig hybrid's grip and causing him to stop abruptly in his speech. He looked up at him, raising an eyebrow in question.

"You okay now?" Techno asked lowly, near inaudible as he deliberaly spoke slower, assuming Tubbo still couldn't hear. It was considerate of him.

He cleared his dry throat, nodding as he carefully lowered his other hand from his ear. "I can hear again, too." He murmured with a ghost of a smile, and watched Techno's shoulders relax - a miniscule change that he wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been staring at them for the length of his panic attack.

Footsteps broke the fragile peace, and in a split second, Tommy had thrown himself in front of Tubbo and forced Techno back. Tubbo couldn't see his face, because he had his back to him and he was on the floor while Tommy was standing, but he could imagine his scowl from the dangerous calm of his voice. "What the  _ fuck _ do you think you're doing, Techno?"

"Tommy," Tubbo croaked, and his best friend stole a glance over his shoulder to check on him. Shock rippled across his face - Tommy had never been one to hide his reactions much - and sent a creeping fear down Tubbo's spine. 

"Tubbo, your ears-"

"He was hyperventilating, what was I supposed to do, ignore him?" Techno sighed, and Tommy's attention was instantly caught, turning to face him. Tubbo, confused by Tommy's statement, reached up to touch his ears as he rose to his feet. A little unsteady, but his balance was decent, considering what had just happened. 

Tubbo picked up his hat and shoved it unceremoniously onto his head, shuffling over to the nearest reflective water source, which happened to be a small, useless pool that branched off from the main stream. Behind him, Tommy scoffed in audible disbelief. "Yeah, right, and I'm meant to believe that you didn't take his hat off him after finding you looming over him?" With those words alone, Tubbo understood why Tommy was so riled up. It wasn't just because of Techno, it was because his secret was jeapordised. 

"Actually, he knocked that off himself while he was struggling to get away." Glancing down at the water confirmed what Tubbo had already known to be true. His ears had grown, or mutated, or something, and they now resembled the shape of sheep ears - of Schlatt's. The most disturbing thing about it was how naked it looked, still the same fleshy colour as the rest of him. He was sure that would change in due time. 

"He was  _ struggling _ to get away and it didn't cross your mind to let him  _ go _ ?!" Tommy's voice rose to a yell, and Tubbo was used to loud noises, being his best friend and all, but it suddenly felt  _ louder _ than normal. He watched with a morbid fascination as his ears pressed downwards, blocking some of the sound, and bit down on a whimper that tried to claw up his throat. 

Evidently, he wasn't very effective in hiding his discomfort, because when he glanced up, Tommy was looking at him with an almost guilty expression. When he spoke up, his voice was softer again. "Hey, Big Q?"

The nickname drew Tubbo's attention to the duck hybrid lingering awkwardly at the bottom steps of the ravine, looking back and forth between the three of them. Quackity held eye contact with Tommy for a long moment, and they must have had a silent conversation within that span of time, because when he blinked, he rushed into action.

"Okaaay, time for  _ señor distracción _ to make an appearance!" Quackity laughed, the sound only slightly forced as he bounded over to Tubbo and slung an arm around his shoulder, mimicking the action behind himself with his wing. "Ey, Tubo, my dear friend, I think you need some fresh air! The trees are really nice around here this time of year, and quite frankly, I think staying cooped up in here is a waste!" Quackity began dragging them up the stairs and out of the ravine, keeping a firm arm around him, and Tubbo made no move to protest, amused by Quackity's usual dramatics. He pretended he didn't hear the argument pick up again, hoping that Techno would explain what happened clearly enough that Tommy would understand it was all fine, and Tubbo wouldn't have to return to find out they duked it out in The Pit. 

Quackity and Tubbo took a seat directly next to the makeshift stable, leaving the entrance to Pogtopia open since they were there to guard it. Tubbo slumped against Quackity's shoulder, no longer in pain but feeling tired, and the other chuckled lightly as he brought his wing around him. "How are you doing, man?"

"Not gonna lie, I could be better." Tubbo chuckled weakly, gaze travelling to the sky. He could feel dried blood around the base of his horns and at his ears, but he didn't want to go and find a water source to deal with it now. "But I've also been worse. Techno didn't react much to all this and I don't know if that's a good thing or not."

"It's a good thing until proven otherwise!" Quackity declared, puffing his feathers up and chest out in mock confidence, and Tubbo snorted with a shake of his head.

"Guess so." He fell quiet and Quackity didn't try to prompt him for conversation anymore, instead stretching his other wing out to beckon to the horses in the makeshift stable and seeing how they react. Tubbo chewed on his lip, whispering his next words as if a part of him was worried of being overheard. "Did you have a chance to look for stuff related this whole thing? Did you find anything?"

Quackity let out a long exhale, his fringe ruffling with the rush of air. "I was able to sneak a peek while Schlatt was in meetings, but unfortunately, I didn't find anything. Nothing that  _ seemed _ related, at least."

Tubbo pouted, not surprised by the lack of result but disappointed regardless. He folded his arms over his chest, hesitating for a mere moment before responding. "Was there anything related to curses in general?"

"Curses…" Quackity repeated in a mumble, eyes flickering down to him before he looked away, humming. "Not that I can think of, but I could probably try and take another look, if you want."

Tubbo considered it, but turned down the offer. "You don't have to. There probably isn't anything useful to find, anyway. Information like that wouldn't be left where you could find it."

"You're probably right about that." Quackity huffed with a half grin, nudging Tubbo to get him to begrudgingly sit up. "But hey, while we're airing out all these serious topics, are you still planning on hiding this from Wilbur?"

Tubbo frowned at the reminder of Wilbur, resting his hands on his knees as Quackity folded his wings behind his back. "Yeah? I mean, I don't really want to think about how Wilbur would react to all this." He laughed, a sheepish sound that trailed off halfway as he scratched the back of his neck.

Quackity nodded in solemn understanding, shifting to face him before snatching his hat off his head. Tubbo protested, caught off guard by the unexpected exposure, but Quackity worked quickly, tugging his beanie off and pulling it over Tubbo's head. He put the breton cap on himself, running his fingers through his fringe as he tugged the hat down as far as it could go. 

"A beanie would be a lot more effective than a cap now that you have matching ears." Quackity explained cheerfully, leaning over to readjust the beanie once he had finished fussing over himself. "Besides, I bet beanies are a lot comfier for horns. More flexible, less restrictive."

Tubbo nodded along, as much as he could while Quackity was fiddling with the beanie. He noticed, with a vague sense of happiness, that the ears Quackity usually masked with the beanie was lined with tiny, downy feathers at the edges, like those of a duckling.

It was cute, and when Tubbo pointed it out to Quackity, he had the opportunity to see him fluster with embarrassment. 

* * *

The stew was overcooked, and lacked the carrots and potatoes that Tubbo had planned to add in later, but it was edible, so they ate it. 

Luckily, Niki had collected some apples while she was out collecting wood, so the meal wasn't a complete chore. And hey, if Tubbo smuggled a couple apples back into his room in case of any later cravings, that was hardly anyone else's business.

* * *

It was late, and Wilbur was sat by the campfire. 

Niki, Tommy and Tubbo had all gone to their rooms, and were most likely asleep. He didn't know for sure, because he hadn't checked, nor did he care enough to. Techno was sat in front of him, cape over his shoulders as he roasted a potato on a stick over the flame. 

Techno wasn't usually one to start conversation, and Wilbur had nothing pressing to say, so they had been sat in relative silence for a while. It was a surprise in itself when Techno broke it, tone low and lazy. "Something happened today."

"Did Tommy get in a fight with you again?" Wilbur snorted humourlessly, propping his elbow up on his knee and resting his chin in his palm. Tommy couldn't seem to let go of the fact Techno had hurt Tubbo - so ready to hate so strongly once something he cared about was threatened. He really didn't understand how Tommy didn't agree to his plan immediately, but they were well past that, at this point. 

"Kind of, but that's not the point." Techno grumbled, clearly not as amused at the idea of their tension as Wilbur was. He was quiet for a moment as he pulled his potato from the flame, checking how it was before setting it down, satisfied. "I found Tubbo freaking out, so I tried to help him out. Turns out he was temporarily deaf, couldn't hear me at all, so I ended up spooking him. That's why Tommy was pissed at me." Techno paused, and Wilbur furrowed his brows as he watched the pig hybrid bite into his potato, feeling like he was missing an important chunk of information. "The kid was growing horns in under his hat, and it looked like it was a pretty...painful process. It was worrying to watch, honestly. I have no idea if it's been an ongoing thing or not."

_ Ah. _

Wilbur leaned forward, interest piquing as a simper settled on his face. Techno eyed him with vague apprehension, not trusting his change in attitude in the slightest.

" _ Horns _ , did you say?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S Y I K E S TIME
> 
> a little bit belated happy halloween to you all!! enjoy the start of Everything Getting Even Worse
> 
> also I'd like to clarify that Techno has good intentions with bringing up the situation with Wilbur. unfortunately, Wilbur is a little batshit at the moment, even though he's mostly been pretending to be sane since the festival so y'know


	6. this house isn't home

Tubbo woke up with a horrible sense of dread in his stomach, the kind of anxiety you get when you knew something bad was about to happen, and he hated it.

Everything _seemed_ fine. His horns weren't bothering him, he could hear Niki and Tommy talking somewhere in the ravine alongside Techno's occasional quips, and the fact that Techno was part of the conversation at all gave hope that Tommy had accepted his presence. He couldn't hear Wilbur, but Wilbur's presence was pretty sporadic anyway, never seeming to stick to a routine. In fact, the only change he could notice was the fact that some fluff had started to grow on his ears, and that wasn't even a bad thing! It felt soft and it was painless growing in, which was a huge win in Tubbo's book.

And yet, the slimy feeling in his stomach persisted, even as he went down to join them for breakfast, with Quackity's beanie and a borrowed sweater from Niki. Even as he sat beside Tommy and laughed as his best friend talked animatedly about the stupid dream he'd had. Even as Niki passed him a cup of honey milk, his favourite, and teasingly asked how he managed to track the bees down so quickly. Even as Techno handed him half of his bread roll and asked him in a quiet mumble how he was feeling, voice tired but genuine.

He figured out why when Wilbur quietly emerged from his room. Tubbo was distracted by Tommy's conversation, now turned to the topic of the downside of their makeshift stable being that zombies kept falling into the pit with the horses, and had no real reason to feel bothered by Wilbur walking past behind him aside from paranoia. Paranoia that was justified, apparently, because in the next second, Wilbur had abruptly pulled the beanie off his head. 

The ravine air was cold against the tips of his ears, and they twitched with his surprise as his dread instantly snowballed into panic. 

The other three didn't have a positive reaction to this sudden change of pace either; Techno's shoulders tensed, horror dawned on Niki's face and Tommy paled, even as he shot up and threw his arm out to keep Wilbur away from Tubbo. "What the hell, Wilbur?!"

Wilbur laughed, a sound that was just a little too pitched to be sane, and everyone else seemed to collectively recoil. Tommy, unsettled by the return of such a grating sound after weeks of reprieve, moved to step in front of Tubbo instead of protecting him with an arm alone. "I think you should be asking Tubbo that, not me." Wilbur threw Quackity's beanie over his shoulder carelessly, his smile too wide as he leaned to the side to watch Tubbo over Tommy's shoulder. Tubbo shuddered at the eye contact, seeing only pools of mania. "You never told me you had horns! Or growing horns, I suppose. How long has this been going on?" 

Another laugh, breathless and echoing in his ears as Wilbur smoothly sidestepped Tommy to reach for Tubbo's horns. His fingers wrapped around keratin, grip too tight, and Tubbo cried out as he shook his head to dispel the grip. Tommy shouted out in alarm, grabbing Wilbur's wrist and yanking it away from him, before pushing the taller in the chest to get him to back off. Niki stood and moved towards him, her voice sharp and quivering with anger. "Wilbur, that's enough! Leave Tubbo alone, he's done nothing wrong!"

She stopped behind Tubbo, placing her hands on his shoulders gently, and he leaned into the touch as he felt his ears droop downwards, not wanting to hear this conversation. He bit down the choked sound that was trying to make itself known.

Wilbur continued rambling on with a tilted grin like he was deaf to the world, fixated. "It's kind of a funny coincidence, though. They- they remind me of _Schlatt's_ horns, a little. You know, the man that ruined our entire fucking lives and stole _everything_ from us." His words were cheerful, but the undercurrent of simmering anger was obviously under the surface. He cackled, throwing his head back. "No, no, it's actually _very_ funny! So funny that I don't think it's a coincidence at all!" In a snap, all of the amusement in Wilbur's posture dissipated, and his eyes were cold as he met Tubbo's eyes. Niki's grip on his shoulders tightened protectively, as if ready to pull him away at any moment, and Tommy bent his knees into a more fight compatible position. "But there's no way you're on Schlatt's side either, is there? You wouldn't follow a man who publicly executed you, would you?"

Wilbur sounded erratic, as if he wasn't sure if he believed what was a logical fact. Tubbo wanted to reply, wanted to insist that he wasn't, he was on Tommy's side (which would placate Wilbur by proxy), but his mouth suddenly felt dry. He wanted to lean into Niki and hide, but instead he silently returned Wilbur's stare, refusing to be a coward despite his lack of words. "Wilbur, that's _enough_!" Niki repeated firmly. "Tubbo doesn't know why this is happening either!"

Unfortunately, Wilbur didn't take his lack of response kindly, and suddenly he was shouting, and Tubbo was wincing at how loud it was. He lurched forward, not enough for Tommy to feel like he was too close, but enough to be unsettling. " _Would you?!_ "

There was a scuffle behind him, and Tubbo didn't have time to look before Techno appeared, gripping Wilbur by the shoulders and forcing him back. "Okay, can you take it down a couple notches? You're focusing on the wrong thing here." 

Wilbur's brows knitted together, but he made no move to fight back against the hold. He was smiling again, slightly confused by mostly amused. "Whatever do you mean, Techno? _You're_ the one who told me about this little development, weren't you?"

Niki's breath hitched beside his ear, and for a moment, Tubbo was overwhelmed with disappointment and hatred, even more so than after his own death. Tommy squared his shoulders, and when he spoke, it was quiet. Resigned, as if he had expected it, with a breathless chuckle, but if Tubbo could see his eyes, he'd notice the anger sparking within them. "Techno- Techno, you told him."

"Yeah, 'cause I was worried! You have to understand, I found Tubbo in pain with horns growing out of his head, that isn't exactly normal for him!" Techno protested, chancing a look over his shoulder at the other three, and he almost sounded desperate to be heard. Tubbo's hatred melted like a bitter pill on his tongue, lapsing back into forgiveness. "Wilbur's usually better at dealing with people, so I thought he could help out."

Tubbo really couldn't stay upset with Techno, because he empathised with that. Even now, his first instinct when Tommy got hurt was to try and find Wilbur, even though he knew that Wilbur caused more harm nowadays than good. If _Tommy_ was the one who had been bleeding out the ears and going temporarily deaf, maybe he would have let something slip too, if only out of an unbridled worry.

Wilbur blinked in disbelief, before cackling as he wrenched himself away from Techno and stumbled back until his shoulders were pressed against the stone. "And here I thought you were trying to prove you were on my side by pointing out a traitor." The title had been thrown around so carelessly recently that it had started to lose its meaning, but it still made Tubbo frown. Wilbur snickered, wrapping his arms around his midsection like he had just heard the funniest thing in his life. "But no! You told me because Technoblade, legendary warrior and nightmare of the battlefield, was _worried._ "

Techno huffed at the borderline mockery, moving forward again to grasp at Wilbur's shoulders, raising his gaze to maintain eye contact. "Wilbur- Wilbur, you told me that you didn't care whether I was on your side or not, as long as I was willing to help you. I assumed the same would apply to Tubbo. I didn't think you were going to freak out over something that might not even have anything to _do_ with Schlatt."

Wilbur giggled, head bowed down as he reached up to grab Techno's wrists. "I told you that because I _know_ you, Techno. I know you don't actually have a side. You can say whatever you want - you always end up on the side that sheds the most blood, causes the most destruction, and I _know_ that this time around, that's going to be me. I don't have to worry about you _actually_ opposing me. Tubbo, on the other hand?" Wilbur released one of his wrists to throw his arm in Tubbo's direction, and Tommy grit his teeth at the accusatory nature of the action. "He's not like that!"

Wilbur faltered, and suddenly he was calm, that manic energy buzzing beneath the surface of his skin. His eyes looked past Techno and Tommy to Tubbo. His smile was a little off. "But you're a smart kid, aren't you, Tubbo? I can't think of any good reason why you'd side with Schlatt, so I'll trust that you really don't know why this is happening. For now." His words were sickly sweet, like rotten honey, and Tubbo wasn't sure if he preferred that to the outright hysteria or not. "Either way, I know about your horns now, so no need to hide them anymore."

Wilbur pushed Techno's hands off him, before turning his attention to some of the chests. He made his way over to them and began rummaging through the contents, marking the conversation as over.

Even so, the unmistakable tension stayed stagnant and Tubbo knew why. The conclusion was unsatisfying, and it felt like it was only a matter of time before Wilbur would turn around and change his mind. Niki sank down beside him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders in a hug, and Tommy turned to check on him with thinly veiled fear and a tremble of anger to his fingers. Techno bent down to pick up Quackity's beanie and awkwardly handed it back to Tubbo.

Wilbur was humming far too cheerfully when he left, having found whatever he was looking for in the chests.

* * *

Rome wasn't built in a day, but apparently a rebellion can fracture within the span of three.

The rest of the first day went as follows:

Niki accompanied Tubbo into the mines while Tommy went out to scavenge. Both activities are completed without any complications, and Tubbo's horns seemed to have settled for the time being, not causing any discomfort. 

("Be careful mining around there, I think I can hear lava." Tubbo called over from where he was sitting, taking a break from mining. 

Niki looked up, momentarily confused as she stilled her pickaxe. "Really? I don't hear anything." Tubbo flushed, his ears flicking in response, and Niki smiled. "Oh, I understand. How is it, having better hearing now?"

"Weird." Tubbo laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's like my scope of awareness has increased, and everything's a little louder. I don't get how Fundy deals with it all the time, but I guess he was born like that, so he's used to it."

"Mhm. Fundy doesn't know anything different, but you have to adapt." Niki glanced around, before moving to the other side of the little area they had found. "I'll try mining around here instead, then."

Tubbo took a moment to listen in that direction, finding the act of adjusting his ears almost as natural as breathing, before nodding as he hauled himself to his feet, grabbing his pick. "Yeah, that should be safe!")

Tubbo realised that Wilbur had stayed within the ravine for the entire day, and he was sure that the man was keeping an eye on him, waiting for him to slip up and prove his alliances laid elsewhere. He ignored the sadness that thought gave him, choosing to focus on helping Tommy craft arrows for their variety of projectile weapons. Tommy was always better and quicker with making arrows so the help wasn't necessarily needed, but Tubbo didn't have anything else to do, and he thought Tommy preferred the company.

They had rabbit stew and bread for dinner, with Techno taking his share to a little alcove he had made for himself, overlooking the entire ravine. Niki, Tommy and Tubbo talked about stupid hypotheticals to entertain themselves and tried to remain casual when Wilbur showed himself at the tail end of their meal. Tubbo pretended he didn't feel his gaze burn into his horns and focused on his stew.

Tommy followed Tubbo up to his room wordlessly, and Tubbo didn't argue when he plopped down on his bed like he owned it. He sat down beside him, only shooing him away to collect his blanket from his room. 

(Tubbo squawked as he was suddenly hit with a ball of blanket to his head, reaching up to pull it off. "You happy now?" Looking up once he was untangled from the blanket gifted him with the sight of a very smug Tommy Innit closing the door behind himself. 

"Very much so. Finally, I can hibernate and hide from the horrors of this cruel world." Tubbo drawled with a playful grin, pulling both his and Tommy's blankets around himself like a cocoon. They were thin, and didn't do too much against the chill at night, but it did something, and that was what mattered.

"Drama queen." Tommy muttered, despite the fact that he wasn't even trying to hide his grin. He threw himself onto the bed, making the fragile wood creak as he reached over to grab at the blankets, which Tubbo was holding tight against himself with a giggle. "C'mon, lemme in, man! I'm so cold, I'm gonna freeze and take ages to respawn, and it'll be a huge, huge loss for everyone!"

"Who's the drama queen now?" Tubbo teased as he lifted the blankets up, allowing Tommy to burrow into his side before wrapping the blankets around both of them. It was nice like this, pressing close to each other in a mutual leeching of body heat. 

"You." Tommy said matter-of-factually, leaning back against the wall at the head of the bed and incidentally taking Tubbo with him. He snorted as the shorter tucked his head into the crook of his neck, poking at Tubbo's side. "You're as clingy as ever, huh, Tubbo?"

Tubbo scoffed, swatting at his arm. "Shut up, you were the one who asked to cuddle.")

Tubbo took an apple from his hidden stash and split it in half, to share between him and Tommy. The two talked and talked until they drifted off, huddled together and comfortable in their joint warmth for the first time in too long.

* * *

The second day went as follows:

Tubbo came down from his room to find Wilbur watching him from his spot at the campfire, and realised he felt remarkably conscious of his horns and ears in Wilbur's presence. He didn't particularly like that, so he offered Wilbur a small smile and a morning greeting before grabbing a bread roll and scurrying off to find someone else.

That someone ended up being Techno, sat in that little alcove of his. Tubbo lingered in front of it curiously until he was noticed, and was pleasantly surprised when Techno sighed before reaching an arm out to help him up instead of turning him away. It wasn't too cramped in the alcove; in fact, it was rather cosy. Tubbo could understand why Techno liked it.

They sat in silence for a while, Tubbo watching with his knees pulled to his chest as Techno cleaned and sharpened his collection of axes and swords, switching them in and out of his inventory as he worked. Tubbo's opinion of Techno was strange because he knew that, in theory, he shouldn't like him. He should hate him, even, not only for being his executor in front of a crowd, but also for outing his secret to Wilbur. 

But Tommy was angry enough for the both of them, and that left Tubbo with exhaustion. He found that he forgave Techno on both accounts, because he could understand why he did the things he did. He didn't approve in the slightest, obviously, but he didn't think Techno meant to be malicious, even if a small part of him was always a little bit agitated by the pig's presence.

Once the silence stretched on for a little too long, Tubbo started conversation in the same way he usually started conversations with Tommy - a stupid fun fact. He wasn't sure if it would work, because Techno seemed like the type to give short answers and then keep to himself again, but Techno must have gotten the hint that he wanted to talk because he spoke just enough for it to work.

("You know, you kinda remind me of Tommy." The words slipped out of his mouth before Tubbo considered the situation, the fragile tension between the two currently. 

Techno chuckled bitterly, though he didn't miss the way his hands paused momentarily where they were shining his sword. "No idea why. We're nothing alike."

"You're not." Tubbo agreed, a smile tugging at his lips despite himself. "When it comes to a lot of things, at least. But the way you handle your weapons reminds me of him. Tommy was super meticulous with them, especially during the war."

"Yeah?" 

Techno didn't look up but he raised an eyebrow, which was enough of a reaction for Tubbo to hum. "Yeah! He would always set aside time in the week to clean his sword and his axe, and he would never let anyone else repair his weapons because he insisted they'd do it wrong. I'm not sure if he still does that, but if I had to guess, I'd say he does."

Techno was silent for a moment, tilting his sword to catch the lantern light, before he finally said in an overly sarcastic tone. "Tommy, described as meticulous. I don't believe it."

Tubbo laughed.)

Eventually, Techno finished with his weapon maintenance and offered to spar with Tubbo. He hadn't been expecting that, and for a moment he didn't respond. Tubbo wasn't particularly bad at fighting - he was in a war, after all - but he also wasn't the best at it, either. He didn't enjoy it all too much. But sparring...sparring was casual, and it had been a while since he trained. He supposed he could use a refresher. 

So Tubbo accepted, on the condition that Tommy joined them. He was sure both of them thought it was because of an uneasiness to face Techno alone in a mock violent setting after his most recent death. In reality, it was a devious ploy on his part to get the two to finally air their tension out, bonding over something that Tubbo was sure helped bring them together before. With Wilbur's paranoia hanging in the air, he could really do without the standstill between Techno and Tommy. 

He thought it worked, when the session ended with Tommy pulling Techno into a side hug, whooping. Everyone was a little roughed up, but nobody was bruised.

By the time nightfall arrived, Tommy and Tubbo were already bundled together. Tonight, though, a knock interrupted them before they were joined by a sheepish Niki, who had just finished having a disagreement with Wilbur, if the furiously muttering voices seconds before meant anything. Tommy was a little embarrassed, but he didn't protest when Niki came to join their cuddle pile. Tubbo's bed wasn't huge, so it was a bit of a squeeze, but it was an extra blanket and extra body heat so they made it work. 

* * *

The third day was the catalyst.

Tubbo woke up to a headache and ears covered with fluff. According to Niki, the fur on his ears was dark brown for the most part, disrupted by splotches of white at the very tips. His reflection in the water, when he got an opportunity to see it, matched that description too. 

Most of the day went by slowly, making Tubbo feel like he was moving through a sea of molasses. He stayed in the ravine like he had for the past few days out of fear of being accused of something by Wilbur, but he didn't have anything to do, so he did his best to help Tommy and Niki out with their own endeavors. He even offered to help Techno, but the pig hybrid turned him down, preferring to work alone. 

And then Wilbur held Tommy back from going to collect Quackity again, this time claiming that they were due a visit from Dream, that he would be coming any moment now. Niki was sent to get Quackity instead, and Tubbo went with her, because his fear of accusations was overruled by his reluctance to witness a conversation between Wilbur and Dream. It wasn't Dream that was the problem - rather the fact that Tommy had said it had been nothing short of unnerving to watch, because whether he knew it or not, Dream enabled Wilbur's insanity. 

They left with Tubbo at Percy's reins and Niki sat behind him, before realising as soon as they met with Quackity that they wouldn't all be able to ride the horse back. It made their journey back to Pogtopia longer, as Tubbo insisted he lead Percy by the reins on foot while the other two rode on horseback.

("You kept my hat!" Tubbo smiled at the familiar sight of his breton cap. It looked good on Quackity.

Quackity reached upwards, fingers brushing the brim. He grinned brightly. "Well, yeah, I needed a replacement for my beanie, didn't I? It even looks more formal, so Schlatt was happy enough to not question it." He turned to Niki with a twinkle in his eye. "You made this, right, Niki? It's really good handiwork! Comfy, too."

She smiled softly, pride in her voice. "Yes, thank you.")

They came back to an argument.

It was between Wilbur and Tommy - of course it was, Techno was out and the rest of them had just got back - and they could hear their voices echoing upwards from the very top of the spiral stairs. He, Niki and Quackity exchanged uncertain glances, before Tubbo's curiosity won out and he took the lead, descending towards the ravine. He did his best to mask his footsteps, and knew Niki and Quackity were doing the same as they trailed behind him.

Quackity grabbed his arm to stop him just before he could step out into plain view, and after a quick glance back to meet the duck hybrid's eye, Tubbo complied. He stuck close to the wall hiding them from view, leaning out to peek around it and gauge what was happening.

He couldn't tell if Dream had actually visited or not, first of all. At the very least, Wilbur didn't seem to have any new weapons or means of mass destruction. Wilbur himself looked a little worse for wear; not in his physical appearance, but in his face. His eyes were bloodshot and wide, his smile curled and sharp. He reached for Tommy, almost as if coaxing, but the teen backed out of his range with bared teeth. Tubbo was nervous to actually start listening, as he hadn't paid enough attention for the words to register thus far, but he knew he had to and-

And-

His heart skipped a beat, in an unpleasant, jittering way.

They were arguing about _him_.

"Come on, Tommy, I know you're smart, even if you don't act like it." Wilbur cooed at him, his arms still outstretched towards him, inviting even though Tommy had already expressed discomfort. "I know you want to believe in him, but you _have_ to see how convenient this all is, right? There's no way Tubbo isn't a traitor, not with Schlatt's fucking icon growing out his head."

Tubbo's stomach churned, and he felt fingers brush his. He reached for them without looking, recognising them as Niki's, and clung to them like a lifeline as Tommy glared at his older brother. "That doesn't mean anything! It's like Techno said, you don't know if it even has anything to do with the bastard or not." His eyes narrowed. "You're jumping to conclusions. It's not like Tubbo can help the fact that- that he was _cursed_! That's like blaming me for having blue eyes, or something. I didn't choose to have them, that's just how they are."

Wilbur chuckled, the sound soft and dangerous as it bounced around the ravine, and he reached out to grab Tommy's hands, quick enough that the boy couldn't pull away in time. "Oh, Tommy. You really don't get it." He tugged him closer, and Tommy stumbled, face flooded with apprehension. Wilbur was speaking down to him, it was so _obvious_ and it made Tubbo's grip on Niki's hand tighten even further. Another hand settled between his shoulder blades, and he registered the faint feeling of webbing between the fingers. "Tubbo wasn't born like that. He was turned. He could have easily had a choice. He might have told you it was a curse, but don't you think it would make more sense that he gave himself to Schlatt willingly?"

"No." Tommy said, the single word said with full confidence, and Tubbo felt a burn in the back of his eyes as he wondered what he did to deserve that. Tommy snatched his hands back, taking a few steps back and standing defensively. "No, that doesn't make sense at all." He exhaled, running a hand through his hair as he tried to calm himself before his gaze snapped back to Wilbur. "You- You can't make those assumptions when you haven't even fucking seen one of his episodes. He was in _agony_ , Wil. There's no way anyone would agree to that. Besides, in case you haven't forgotten, Schlatt called for his fucking execution. Why would he do that if Tubbo had agreed to- to whatever the hell this is?!" 

Try as he might, Tommy's voice had risen to a shout, as it usually did when he was emotionally charged. Wilbur didn't bat an eye, shaking his head in condescending pity. "It was a set-up. The execution was staged!" His smile grew, as if the fact he got to explain this made him giddy, and his voice became frantic. "Tommy, the execution distracted us, ruined my original plan, _and_ it allowed Tubbo to come to Pogtopia permanently. That's killing two birds with one stone! You avoid mass destruction and you plant a sleeper agent in one fell swoop." Wilbur leaned down slightly to be at eye level with Tommy, voice dropping enough that Tubbo might not have heard if not for his altered hearing. "It's _perfect_." 

Tommy scoffed, expression disbelieving and muscles tensed. His words were loud but tight, an indicator that he was trying to restrain himself. "That's utter bullshit. That would mean Tubbo agreed to be blown to fucking pieces in a concrete box, and I find that hard to believe!" He huffed, lips twitching upwards with misplaced humour. "I don't think anyone would subject themselves to a death _that_ traumatic, with the ability to respawn or not. Have you seen his scars?!" Again, the volume jumped, a tremor in his syllables that made Tubbo bite his lip. 

"Tommy, Tommy, Tommy." Wilbur chided, walking to the side and looking much too satisfied with himself as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his trenchcoat. "If the loyalty runs deep enough, people would do anything for their leaders, even die. _Especially_ die." He paused, then glanced back at Tommy with a cold look in his eyes. "Though, I guess you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Tubbo stopped breathing.

He felt numb, because those words were so unbelievably inaccurate. Tommy sacrificed more than anyone else for L'Manburg, for _Wilbur_ , and for Wilbur to turn around and dismiss that? Even worse, dismiss it in an attempt to prove to Tommy that he knew nothing, not even his best friend?

Tubbo was hardly surprised when Tommy growled and launched himself at the man. In fact, what did surprise him was that Tommy only grabbed his trenchcoat and dragged him towards him, instead of going straight for a punch. "Get in the Pit." Tommy ordered, fingers curling further into Wilbur's clothes.

Wilbur laughed, eyes crinkling with genuine amusement. If it wasn't for the confusion in his voice, he would have seemed unaffected by the outburst completely. "What do you mean?"

"Get in the fucking Pit!" Tommy shouted with his face flushed red, shaking Wilbur back and forth and only getting cackles in response. He shoved Wilbur back, and the three observers collectively winced at the harsh sound of Wilbur colliding with the stone wall. The man flinched, but his smile remained. "You were the one that wanted us to use violence to solve our problems, right? That whole universal language bullshit?" Tommy balled his hands into fists, clenching his teeth. "Then fight me."

Wilbur hummed, rubbing at his shoulder. "Fighting isn't necessary when I'm _right_ , Tommy." All Tubbo heard from that was a double standard - an expectation to get entertainment from the disagreements of his fellow rebels while staying above the internal conflict.

"Who the fuck said you're right?!" Tommy exploded, entire body rocking forward in Wilbur's direction, as if yearning for a fight, and it was as if months of developing composure had been for naught. Tubbo knew he had to stop this; he didn't want anyone else fighting in the Pit, least of all Tommy. But he found himself frozen in place, a disgusting pride sparking in his chest, because this escalated because Tommy wanted to defend _him_ . He was fighting like that, partly for _him_. He didn't think he was flattered, or grateful, but he felt something about that fact. Something positive, and that in itself felt wrong.

Tubbo blinked as he was moved to the side, and watched as Quackity jumped down from the stairs, using his wings to drift down. "Heeey guys, we're back! Everything okay down here?" He landed smoothly beside Tommy, placing a hand on his shoulder. He watched Tommy calm down at the new presence, and Wilbur's face was suddenly unreadable. 

Niki squeezed his hand once before letting go, offering him a reassuring smile that he was sure meant they were going to be talking about all this later. She brushed past him and began hurrying down the stairs, attracting the attention of those below them.

Wilbur made eye contact with him, his irises dark and expression pinched, and Tubbo was struck with a realisation. 

He didn't feel safe here anymore.

It was like he was back in Manburg again, walking on eggshells and worrying that any wrong move could land him in deep trouble. Except in Manburg, he was on eggshells because he was a spy for Pogtopia. Pogtopia, where he should have been safe and instead realised that Wilbur would happily kill him for a betrayal he hadn't committed.

He swallowed thickly and hurried down to stick close to the others, gripping the communicator in his pocket as he tried to figure out how to go about this.

Tubbo wasn't going to be able survive here, not when the atmosphere was this suffocating, but he wasn't leaving without talking to Tommy first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very tired, it's very late, and I have nothing insightful to add because I think writing that final scene has drained all energy out of me
> 
> But yeah!! This one was,,,a real doozy


	7. stay with me

The stars were hanging overhead, clear against a dark backdrop, by the time they settled on the coastline. 

They had escaped Wilbur's eye when he was distracted by Techno's return, and Tubbo felt a little bad about leaving the pig hybrid to deal with his paranoia, if only because it might have been nice to exchange a few words with him before he left. 

They sat much closer to the water than the three of them usually did, because Quackity was with them this time and the way he had lit up when he saw the water was too endearing to deny. The duck hybrid had shed his shoes and socks, rolled up his jeans to past the knees, and sat with his legs stretched out to meet the incoming waves. His muscles seemed to relax a little more with each one that washed over his ankles. 

Niki, Tommy and Tubbo were sat a bit further back to avoid getting wet, but close enough to still feel intimate. Niki, with Quackity's permission, was gently combing her fingers through his feathers, tidying them into something neater. Tubbo was cross legged beside her, fidgeting as he watched Tommy stare out at the water, hands grappling at loose stones in the sand. With little warning, he reeled his arm back and threw a stone into the water with a loud grunt. Perhaps he was trying to skip it, but the combination of the force behind the throw and the angle made it a useless attempt. 

He was still frustrated, and Tubbo could understand that. He glanced away to watch Quackity sigh in content and lean into the feeling of Niki's careful work, silently holding his hand out towards Tommy as an offer. For a moment, he simply sat with the sound of moving water blowing past his ears, before a warm weight settled in his palm and fingers intertwined with his own, bringing their linked hands down to rest between them.

A silence stretched between them, seemingly comfortable despite the events that had transpired earlier. Tubbo almost didn't want to break it, but the longer the silence continued, the more he was doubting his idea. 

He knew he had to leave, for his own safety. Wilbur clearly didn't trust him anymore, and while he hadn't actively done anything against him yet, with the man's erratic mental state, he knew it was very likely he eventually would. But despite everything, Tubbo felt a twinge of guilt about wanting to leave. It felt like he was abandoning everything they fought for, an act of cowardice despite being a war veteran.

(Then again, whose fault was it that he was a war veteran at the tender age of sixteen?)

Maybe he deserved to be a coward this time around. To run away, to be somewhere  _ safe _ . He wasn't used to thinking about himself first - he always did things for others. He liked doing things for others! But something in him was stubbornly refusing to be on the short end of the stick this time around. He refused to risk going through another respawn because of Wilbur's paranoia.

"I need to leave." Tubbo breathed, a single sentence shattering the silence around them, and suddenly he couldn't just stop at one sentence. His grievances bubbled up his throat before he could stop it. "I can't stay in Pogtopia. I- the tension and now Wilbur thinking I'm a traitor… it doesn't feel safe. It's like he's always watching me and my  _ horns _ and I hate it."

Nobody responded immediately, no exclamations or protest, which made him feel a little better about himself. Quackity turned to glance back at him with an unreadable expression, legs shifting in the water, and the movement stopped Niki's work. They didn't say anything for a beat, before Tommy sighed and gently squeezed his hand. "I thought you'd say something like that." It wasn't angry, or even disappointed. It was a mild acceptance, soft in a way that Tommy only reserved for those closest to him.

"You're not mad?" The quiet words slipped out before Tubbo could stop himself, even though he wasn't sure what he had expected. Tommy was rough around the edges, but he was still his best friend. 

"Why the hell would I be mad?" Tommy huffed, an edge of offense to his voice as he bumped shoulders with him. He sighed, glancing away with the smallest furrow of his brow. "I want you to be safe, man. Wilbur's gone insane and now he's targeting you - if you hadn't brought it up, I might have told you to leave myself."

A warmth trickled into his chest, and a small smile tugged at his lips. In a lighter situation, he might have teased Tommy for that, but there wasn't any room for that here. Quackity smiled, dimmed with sadness as he leaned back on his hands, careful not to hit Niki with the movement. "Honestly, with the amount of shit you've been through, I think you deserve it! We can hold fort here just fine, if that's what you're worried about." He paused, tilting his head. "What about you, Tommy?"

"Me?" Tommy retorted with a faint scowl, visibly confused. "What kind of question is that?"

Quackity gave him a reproachful look, and Tubbo quickly realised what the implication was. Hope settled comfortably in his chest, and he turned to Tommy with bright eyes, squeezing his hand. "You could come with me, if you want! We could run away together, like we said before."

Tommy looked surprised for a moment, as if he hadn't thought of that possibility, despite being the one to think of the runaway idea to begin with. Niki chimed in before he was able to reply, encouraging with a silent plead in her eye. "You deserve safety too, Tommy. You're both so young, and you've experienced more than a lot of people deal with in a lifetime. You said Tubbo doesn't have to stay, and neither do you."

Tommy had never been good at hiding his emotions from his face, so Tubbo could tell his answer wasn't going to be one he liked before he spoke by the falling of his face. "I know I don't, but I can't leave Wilbur alone like this. He may be insane, but he's my brother. I need to make sure he doesn't do anything he'll regret." He turned to Quackity, cracking a grin. "Besides, what about Plan Ass? I've gotta be around to make sure that goes smoothly."

Niki didn't seem convinced, and neither did Quackity, shaking his head lightly. "Listen, I can take care of the plan myself if you want to leave with Tubbo, and Niki could help me out if I really needed it. You don't have to worry-" 

"But I'm gonna worry anyway, so I might as well stick around." Tommy snapped, throwing the hand that wasn't holding his up in the air. Tubbo's hope withered in his chest just as comfortably as it had arrived, because he knew it was inevitable. Tommy had a bigger heart than he cared to admit, and he felt partially responsible for everything happening, so he felt obligated to fix it, no matter how wrong that feeling was. It was why he hadn't followed through with his idea to run away when they were at their bench, and it was why he was turning it down again now. Tubbo knew this and accepted it, disappointment and all. 

"Are you sure?" Niki whispered, voice soft but eyes steady, her protective streak unable to let her fully accept Tommy's stubbornness even though they all knew he wasn't going to budge on this.

Tommy pursed his lips together, but nodded firmly. "L'Manburg needs me." He breathed, confident and determined, and Tubbo idly brushed his thumb over his knuckles, as if that could silently communicate how unfair it was that Tommy thought he had to be the one responsible for a nation at sixteen.

"More importantly," Quackity said, shifting closer to the ocean even as he turned to face them fully, pulling his feet from the water. He didn't seem particularly happy with moving on either, but he knew when he needed to give something up, and now wasn't the type to interrogate Tommy's mindset. "Do you have anywhere safe to go? 'Cause I understand not wanting to stay in Pogtopia anymore, but I dunno how comfortable I'd be just letting you wander off into the wilderness alone."

He felt Tommy tense beside him, no doubt reminded of his initial exile, before he and Wilbur found the ravine that would become Pogtopia. Niki frowned lightly, eyes alight with realisation. "Right. Travelling aimlessly could be just as dangerous as staying with Wil. Is there anyone you think can help you? Someone who isn't in Manburg or Pogtopia?"

Tubbo paused for a moment. He hadn't really thought of it yet, overwhelmed only by a need to get away from Wilbur. His first thought was Eret, but he dismissed the idea quickly. He knew Eret wouldn't let anything happen to him if he did go to him for refuge, and he trusted that his castle was more than safe too, but it felt too close to Manburg and Pogtopia.

An idea hit him, and he lit up, determined as he grinned. "I do, actually! And you can get to their base quick enough for you to visit whenever you want." Tubbo gave Tommy a pointed look, because while the statement was open, they all knew he mostly brought it up in relation to Tommy

Tommy seemed hesitant, running his free hand through his fringe as he exhaled slowly. "I mean, obviously I'm gonna keep visiting you. I know you, you wouldn't be able to survive being separated from me for that long." It was a playful taunt, and Tubbo snorted at the sideways glance Tommy shot him before he deflated again. "But I dunno if I'd be able to get away very often, anyway. You've seen how Wilbur is. I mean, that's the whole reason you're leaving."

"Jesus, you're too independent for your own good, you know that?" Quackity groaned dramatically, and when Tommy inevitably glared at him, he ruffled his feathers and gestured towards himself and Niki, as if affronted. "Do we not exist to you? We can cover for you whenever you want to sneak off with Tubbo."

"If you're not going to go with him, that's the least you can do." Niki smiled slightly, her eyebrows drawn with the desperation to get  _ something _ through Tommy's stubborn head. "I can handle Wilbur if needed, but I want you to have somewhere you can escape to. If not for your own good, then for my heart's sake."

Tommy stared at them silently for a moment, but Tubbo had a feeling he was tempted by the idea of escape no matter how much he denied it, because he caved quickly with a sigh. "Yeah, okay, whatever. That'd be…that'd be nice, I guess." He turned to him, the corners of his mouth quirking upwards, and Tubbo grinned back. It wasn't exactly the pure freedom he had hoped for him, but he was glad Tommy would have an out, if he ever felt he needed it like Tubbo did. "So, who do you have in mind?"

Tubbo's grin grew even brighter. 

* * *

_ You whisper to awesamdude: can i coem over?? its importabt _

_ awesamdude whispers to you: sure! remember the knock code when you arrive _

Tubbo checked his communicator for the hundredth time as he stepped out of the Nether portal, as if worried the invitation would be rescinded. He looked up as he shoved his communicator into his pocket, meeting a stony cliff face that would have been unassuming to anyone else's eyes. He ignored his irrational nervousness as he reached out to knock against the surface, ears twitching and horns exposed. He had debated hiding them with Quackity's beanie, which he kept nestled in his pocket, but it felt like it was just postponing the inevitable if he did.

He knocked a familiar rhythm into the stone before stepping back and waiting. Sam didn't leave him waiting for too long, only a minute or two at most before the sound of moving slime reached his ears and the hidden door opened, revealing the base hidden behind the cliff face. Sam smiled at him from behind his creeper mask, and though Tubbo could tell he was taken by surprise by his new appearance, he kept it to himself as he welcomed him into the base.

"It's been a while, Sam!" Tubbo said cheerily as he heard the entrance begin closing behind him, feeling better in the presence of the other. Sam always had a grounded, steady sort of presence - welcoming and calm that he desperately needed after everything that happened recently.

"It really has. I'm glad you seem to be doing okay, though." Sam said earnestly, and though he felt his gaze momentarily flick to his horns in silent question, it was polite enough to not be uncomfortable. There was a brief pause before he held his arms out in offering, and with a small smile, Tubbo accepted the hug, squeezing Sam tight.

Sam smelled of pumpkin pie and redstone torches, the combination distinct and soothing as he buried his face into his hoodie. He relaxed into the sounds of the surrounding base; the clunking of pistons and the distant rattle of carts over rails. It was all so mundane, untouched by the tension that followed him in both Manburg and Pogtopia, and that was a relief in itself.

"So what did you need?" Sam asked as he pulled away, sparing a glance over his shoulder. "Bad and Ant are in earshot, so if it's something private, we might have to move to somewhere else."

Tubbo blinked in surprise. "Bad and Ant are here?"

"Yeah, wanna say hi?" 

He thought about the offer for a brief moment. Tubbo couldn't remember either of them being too involved with Manburg or Pogtopia, and they were nice anyway, so he supposed it wouldn't hurt. He smiled, nodding, and Sam returned it as he led him towards the living room, adjacent to three bedroom doors. He briefly wondered if Sapnap or George were home, before quickly deciding that he hoped they weren't.

The room was cosy, with several sofas surrounding a coffee table and wooly carpeting under their feet. And, as Sam said, Badboyhalo and Antfrost were sitting on one of the seats together, talking quietly to themselves. The two looked up when they entered, and Tubbo's ears twitched with anticipation when they spotted him, because while Sam didn't point his horns out, that didn't mean they wouldn't. 

"Oh my goodness, Tubbo!" Or maybe not, because when Bad pushed himself off the sofa in disbelief, his gaze was focused on his scars rather than his horns. He had forgotten that they hadn't seen him since the festival. Sam ushered him to the sofa opposite the one Bad and Ant shared, and Bad sat back down as he did, face pinched. "What are you doing here? Are you alright?"

Tubbo smiled slightly at the immediate concern, sinking into the sofa cushions as Sam plopped down beside. "Well, he's here because he asked to come over and I said yes."

"I'm doing alright, honestly." Tubbo assured when Bad didn't seem convinced by Sam's explanation, holding his hands up in playful surrender. "I was just wondering if Sam had the space for one more roommate."

"Oh, you wanna move in?" Sam turned to him with palpable excitement, and it spread to Tubbo, his smile growing as he gave a nod. It was a really positive reaction; not that he thought Sam would ever turn him away, but a small part of him had still whispered that it was a possibility. Sam grew more serious a moment later, placing a hand on his knee. "Of course you can, but is there any reason you gotta move in now? Nothing happened, did it?"

"Yeah, I thought you were staying in Pogtopia?" Ant added with a curious flick of his tail, an innocent question that made Tubbo wince, because the answer was a little loaded. 

He chuckled awkwardly, his ears lowering as he fidgeted with the sleeves of his shirt. "I was, but things are kinda pear-shaped with Wilbur at the moment, so I wanted to get away from it all." Tubbo winced again, this time due to his own words - they sounded childish, and he hated that. He cleared his throat, gesturing vaguely to the top of his head. "He didn't really react very well to this, you know?" 

His company seemed to collectively soften in understanding, and Bad scoffed lightly as he folded his arms over his chest, mild disgust aimed at Wilbur rather than Tubbo's horns. "Those muffinheads and their unnecessary animosity. Did he get antsy because of those new horns?" He didn't know why he was surprised by his reaction - Bad had horns too, albeit different ones. Of course he wouldn't judge him based on that.

Tubbo nodded, sheepishly scratching at the back of his neck as he chose to kill two birds with one stone. "Yeah, even though I don't know why they're growing in either. There are some really painful growth spurts too, but Wilbur's convinced I decided to grow them willingly, for some reason."

Ant shook his head disapprovingly, and Bad let out a heavy sigh of disappointment, slumping into the sofa. It made Tubbo feel a little better, like he had made the right decision. Sam squeezed his knee gently to draw his attention, and when he looked up, he was surprised to find that he had shifted his mask just enough for him to meet inky black eyes. "Well, you're always welcome here. I don't have a room immediately ready, but if you help out, we could make one quickly. It'd be nice to be able to hang out more anyway."

"Yeah! I'd like that." Tubbo brightened, and the idea genuinely excited him. It had been too long since he had been able to just fuck around with redstone and machinery, and it would be nice to get back into it with someone as knowledgeable as Sam to guide him. Sam's grin as he adjusted his mask showed that he shared the sentiment. 

"So you're not with Pogtopia or Manburg anymore?" Bad tentatively threw the question out, watching Tubbo with sudden renewed interest. His gaze was a bit intense, but it was nothing compared to Wilbur's paranoid eyes constantly tracking his every move, so he didn't hesitate much in answering.

"I guess not." He shrugged, an action that felt a lot more casual than it should be. "I'm still keeping in contact with Tommy and Niki and Big Q, but I'm not gonna be helping out with their rebellion for the time being. And obviously, I have nothing to do with Manburg anymore." Something about his words felt fundamentally wrong, but he didn't dare let himself think about that now.

Bad hummed, nodding in understanding, and Sam must have known what he was going to suggest, because he looked a little uncertain as he straightened up. "Hang on, guys-"

"Would you be interested in joining The Badlands?" Bad offered with a light smile, giving Sam a friendly wink, who fell silent with a small frown. 

Tubbo, for one, felt like he had been thrown into the deep end of a pool. He had a plethora of questions spawning in his head, but he settled for awkwardly voicing the most important one first. "Uh, depends. What's The Badlands?"

"It's a new faction that Bad created!" Ant helpfully chimed in, bringing his legs up to tuck his feet under himself, allowing him to lean comfortably against the side of the sofa. "We're sort of fed up of constantly being dragged into conflict by Mamburg and Pogtopia, so Bad decided that if we made a new nation, we'd be able to finally be free from that."

It sounded nice. Really nice, actually, and something that Tubbo could more than sympathise with. He nodded along, ears pricking forwards in a show of interest, and Bad must have taken this as a good sign, as he swooped in to take over the explanation with vigour. 

"The idea is we claim the land surrounding Manburg and Pogtopia and let those muffinheads fight in the middle. Then, while they're distracted, we can amass land and power so that we can take over entirely and force them into peace." Bad waved his hands about as he spoke, but Tubbo's ears had drooped slightly the moment he realised the implications. It wasn't a safe haven; it was a secret, additional side to the neverending fight. He knew that it was a reasonable way to end the fighting for good, but it rubbed him the wrong way. "Right now, it's just me, Ant and Sam, but we'd be happy to have your help!" 

"You're under no obligation though." Sam was quick to interject, and Bad seemed to realise how pushy his initial offer sounded, as he nodded along with Ant's hum of agreement. "I'm still happy for you to stay with me either way. In fact, it would be an honour!" He smiled jokingly, placing a hand over his heart.

Tubbo knew what his answer was before Bad had really finished the preposition, but something in him made him hesitate before he outright denied the offer. He bit his lip, eyes sliding over the other occupants of the room thoughtfully. Then, he slowly said, "I don't know. I don't really wanna get involved in anything political right now. I'll think about it though?"

It wasn't an entirely honest response, but Bad was none the wiser, any intensity to his presence dissolving as he waved his hands placatingly. "Oh, that's totally understandable! Don't worry about it, really. It's not like we're working on a tight schedule or anything." He chuckled uncomfortably, and a few glances were exchanged that made it obvious that they all recognised the implication and knew it was true - the fighting between Manburg and Pogtopia wasn't going to end anytime soon. Bad sighed, shoulders relaxing as he smiled at him. "But if you are ever interested in joining, make sure you let me know, okay?"

He smiled politely in return, the type of smile that he knew didn't quite reach his eyes. "Of course."

There was only a brief silence before Sam clapped his hands together, drawing Tubbo's attention with a subconsciously irritated twitch of the ear closest to the sound. "So I'm guessing you wanna move in immediately?"

Happy to move on from the discussion of topics that Tubbo had come here to escape, he hummed in cheerful agreement. "If that's okay with you. It'd be a little awkward for me to go back to Pogtopia now."

Sam laughed warmly, standing up and stretching his arms over his head. "I can imagine. No, that's absolutely fine." He dropped his arms, letting his hands rest on his waist as he turned to face Tubbo. "If we start working on your room now, we could probably get it done comfortably enough for tonight. And at the absolute worst, you can always take my bed for the night. I'd be fine sleeping on one of these." He gestured to the sofas around him.

"You are so great, Sam, has anyone ever told you that?" Tubbo said it teasingly, but he felt like he meant it. Sam was one of the kindest people he's had the pleasure of meeting, someone so unapologetically  _ nice _ and lacking in harsh judgement. It was something he needed right now, he thought. 

"On occasion." Sam replied just as lightheartedly, pulling his enchanted pickaxe from his inventory and letting it swing gently at his side as he turned back to his other guests sheepishly. "Is there anything else you guys wanted to talk about? You can stay here if you want, but I'm gonna have to start working on a bedroom now if I'm gonna make sure Tubbo's got a bed by tonight."

Ant placed a hand under his chin in thought. "Um, I don't think so." He glanced over at Bad for confirmation, who shook his head. Ant perked up, looking up with a friendly grin. "But if you'd like an extra set of hands, I'd be happy to help with the room."

"Make sure they're taking breaks." Bad instructed with a playful smile of his own, earning a mock salute from Ant, with straightened back and tail and all.

"I don't have to take breaks if my stamina is good, Bad." Sam protested, snorting at the flat look he received in response, before turning to Tubbo with a glimmer in his eye, hidden by his mask. The scene was playful, and domestic, and a breath of fresh air to his war-strained lungs. "Do you have a pickaxe on you?" 

Yeah, maybe this was the right decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sam and tubbo's dynamic is toptier so of course I had to sneak it in here
> 
> This fic is canon divergence so of course, none of the post-festival canon is involved here, but man,,, November 16th, huh??


	8. sam's interlude

Sam was a pretty simple guy.

He enjoyed spending his days tinkering with his redstone and machinery, minding his own business. He was always more than happy to help anyone in need, willing to give his resources away for little more than gratitude and a smile. He often had a plentiful supply of things anyway, so he didn't see any fuss in offering a helping hand when he could.

Technically, Sam held a Manburg citizenship, but his base was situated on unclaimed land so it didn't really equate to much except for easy access to the nation. Really, he only held the citizenship in the first place because his friends were citizens too, and he thought it'd make trade and visits easier. It certainly wasn't any real indicator of his loyalty.

Honestly, Sam wasn't interested in politics at all. He didn't hold much opinion of Manburg or Pogtopia, and while he was part of The Badlands, he wasn't particularly included in the decision making as much as he was just along for the ride. He preferred to stick to things that made sense, like his mechanics and inventions, and to get along with everyone. He made friends without any regard to which side of a conflict they were on because it didn't matter to him in the slightest. 

With these things in mind, it was only natural that he welcomed Tubbo with open arms when he turned up on his doorstep with faded scars marring the sides of his face and horns breaking through his skull. The latter development was significant to a lot of people apparently, because it was reminiscent of Schlatt, but it didn't matter to Sam. If Tubbo wanted to escape the drama of everything else, then he was glad he was able to be known as a safe space. 

* * *

Tubbo had insisted on working on a big project, and while Sam had a suspicion it was because he wanted to distract himself, he didn't turn down his idea.

It was hard work - the first step to this grand scheme was draining a portion of the ocean, and that wasn't exactly an easy feat - but it was fun. Having Tubbo also helped him avoid overworking himself, because he was conscious of making sure the boy was sleeping enough hours and eating well, regardless of how much he insisted he was fine. 

("I think we should call it a day." Sam announced lightly, hands in the chest as he emptied out his inventory of sand. The sun was almost completely set, the slither still peeking over the horizon sending dying golden rays over the waves around them, contrasting with the darkness descending from the sky, the glitter of stars beginning to show. 

"What? No, come on Sam!" Tubbo let out a long whine behind him, and Sam couldn't help but smile when he turned to watch him. He had just reached the glass pathway, clutching waterlogged sponges to his chest and pouting at him. "I'm not tired yet, we could get another section done tonight."

"Well, I am." Sam replied flippantly, ignoring the disbelieving look Tubbo shot him as he shuffled over to deposit the sponges in a chest. "Anyway, we're only three days into the project. For that span of time, we've made really good progress."

"Yeah, but I wanna get more done already." Tubbo huffed as he closed the chest with a click. Sam hummed, reaching over to pat his shoulder.

"But if we go back now, I could make some apple pie." He suggested with a cheeky smile, amused by the way Tubbo's ears perked up at the offer. He had realised, in the few days Tubbo had been staying with him, that he had a fondness for apples.

Tubbo squinted at him suspiciously for a few moments, before cracking a smile. "Fine.")

Of course, they weren't working all the time. Sometimes Sam had to go and talk to Ponk or Punz to trade, or was contacted by someone else for help or resources, and Tubbo didn't like the idea of leaving the sanctuary his base had become. Usually, he would use that time to invite Tommy or the others over, if they had the opportunity to sneak away from Wilbur, or Schlatt, in Quackity's case.

The fact that they had to _sneak_ away from their authority figures concerned Sam, honestly, so he always tried to offer them a place in his base too when they left, catching them out of Tubbo's earshot. Niki always gave him the same sad smile in return. Quackity always gave him the same hollow laugh, eyes steely with the determination of someone with a plan. Tommy always gave him the confident dismissal of a child pretending to be strong in the face of a danger that terrified him.

None of them ever took him up on the offer.

(Sam had jokingly enforced a rule that Tommy wasn't allowed in his actual base, on account of the fact that he would probably steal some of his valuables if given the chance. In actuality, he didn't mind, but Tubbo and Tommy still adhered to it during the latter's first visit. They had sat a little ways away from the hidden entrance, within earshot of Sam, who was doing some work on his work-in-progress beehives.

He had admittedly been eavesdropping to begin with, but reassured by the casual conversation that drifted between them, he ended up zoning out, letting their words wash over him as he focused on his work. When their words registered in his mind again, Sam was a little startled to notice that the tone had taken a sharp turn since he last listened in.

"You know, Wilbur tried to spin the whole you disappearing thing into proof that he was right. It was really fucking creepy; he sounded so proud of himself." Tommy muttered, just loud enough for Sam to hear, looking out into the distance with a tired gaze. Sam paused in his work, curious and concerned.

"Yeah." Tubbo sighed, and despite the negative connotations, he didn't sound surprised - it was a statement of agreement, not a question. It saddened Sam that they had gotten used to taking bad occurrences in stride. "But you're okay, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know he's spouting bullshit." Tommy huffed dismissively, waving a hand with his gaze still idly on the horizon.

There was a pause, long enough that Sam resumed what he was doing, before Tubbo murmured quietly enough that he had to strain to hear it. "...You know that's not what I was asking."

Sam got up and went to enter the base in long strides, pretending that he hadn't been paying attention to the two teens. The conversation felt private, and he wasn't going to breach that if they didn't want him to. 

He just hoped Tubbo trusted him enough to know he could talk to him about it if he needed to.)

It was nice, having Tubbo around. Sam had a lot of connections with people, but he was a little isolated on a daily basis. He had roommates on a technicality, because their rooms were mostly empty with the occupants primarily staying in Manburg, so it was nice to have a roommate that actually stuck around.

He just wished it was under better circumstances. 

* * *

Sam was a pretty simple guy, but he wasn't oblivious.

He liked to think of himself as relatively smart. He was certainly smart enough to pick up on strange occurrences with Tubbo - some of them subtle, but glaringly obvious when you spend extended hours with him. 

For one, while George and Sapnap weren't at the base very often, they occasionally popped in to collect things of theirs. In the two instances of this throughout Tubbo's first fortnight living with him, he found that Tubbo had a habit of avoiding them like the plague as soon as he realised they were there. 

Sam wasn't a very political person, so he wasn't sure of the exact specifics of Tubbo's discomfort, but he respected it and never brought up his presence to his other roommates. He assumed it might have something to do with George's position in Schlatt's cabinet - which was another thing he was a bit unclear on, because from what he heard, George barely did anything and skipped out on most meetings that should be compulsory for someone of his position, but Sam wasn't curious enough to ask.

He also supposed it could be because Tubbo was self-conscious of his new horns, because he did have days where he insisted on wearing a beanie at all times, but it seemed rude to ask, so he kept it to himself.

Though, on the topic of the horns, they were concerning in their own right. Not because they were _there_ , though there was some suspicion regarding why they spontaneously appeared, but because they caused Tubbo physical discomfort.

(His realisation of this fact had taken place at his base, because they had come back to collect some pistons for some machine Tubbo wanted to try to help with draining the ocean. He would be eternally grateful that they had been at home - he doesn't think he'd be able to forgive himself if Tubbo had fallen off their glass pathway and into the ocean, whether it was his fault or not.

Sam was distracted from his rearranging of his inventory by a loud crash, and frantically turning around, he found Tubbo falling against the chests, one hand loosely clutching his hair. Panic shot through his veins, and he was there in an instant, reaching out to help him steady himself. "Tubbo?!"

The boy bit down a whimper, ears lowering as he leaned into Sam's steady chest. He exhaled slowly as Sam wrapped his arms around him, unsure what to do, and when he spoke, his voice held a mild quiver. "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Head just hurts really bad - s'normal." 

"Normal?!" Sam repeated incredulously, making an effort to keep his voice down, in case Tubbo was noise sensitive at the moment. He carefully began to lead him to the living room, finding that Tubbo's bedroom felt a little too far away. 

"Growing horns ain't exactly easy, Sam, I'll have you know." Tubbo snorted as if it was a joke, and for a moment, Sam was convinced he was delirious from the pain. He opened the living room door with one hand, keeping his arm wrapped around Tubbo with the other. "I have some oils from Eret that usually takes care of it, but sometimes I have these- these sorts of episodes. Where the pain's super bad and nothing can make it go away. I think they're like- the equivalent of a growth spurt or something."

Sam's eyebrows pinched together as he moved towards one of the sofa, gently helping Tubbo take a seat. He wasn't surprised when the boy immediately dropped into a lying position, burying his face into one of the cushions. "Do these episodes happen often?" He asked, suddenly worried that he had been missing them and accidentally leaving him to suffer through them alone.

Tubbo hummed lazily in thought, notes catching in his throat every few seconds. "Not since I've lived with you. This is the first time I've had one since I moved in." Something calmed in Sam's chest, soothed by that notion, as he took a tentative seat at the edge of the sofa. "They used to happen much more when the horns first started growing in, but I guess now they're slowing down. They used to be a lot worse, too. I should be good in half an hour or so."

Sam clicked his tongue, hesitantly placing his hand over his in an attempt to comfort him. Tubbo didn't shrug him off. "We're not going out for the rest of the day, I don't wanna risk that."

"Oh, come on!" Tubbo whined quietly, shifting onto his back to look up at him properly. Sam didn't miss the small wince at the movement, which only solidified his decision. "I never have two of these in one day, and I'm gonna be so _bored_ otherwise."

"Then you can help me out with some gardening out front. I've been neglecting the flowers for ages, now." Sam suggested, trying to sound firm enough that Tubbo wouldn't try to push. "Besides, just because it's never happened doesn't mean it won't, right?"

Tubbo grumbled quietly, but he didn't have any counter argument. Sam smiled victoriously to himself, patting Tubbo's hand. "Lemme know if you need anything, okay? And especially let me know if you feel one of these coming on at any point, if you can tell they're coming."

Tubbo's eyes had slid shut while he was talking, but his ears were angled towards Sam, and his lips were curved upwards at the edges. "Okay.")

He also noticed that Bad and Ant had made a tradition of offering Tubbo a place in The Badlands whenever they visited. It wasn't anything dramatic or focused, just a casual mention in conversation. Usually it was brought up by Bad, but Ant had done the same on occasion, and while it wasn't actively demanding, Sam had a feeling that their continued reminders didn't have overly pure intentions.

Sam was part of The Badlands, mind you. He had nothing against the faction, or Bad, or Ant. They were close friends of his! But he knew that the two of them were planning something, and while he had no qualms with being left out of the planning, he didn't really want Tubbo roped into it. Hadn't he come to him to escape everything to begin with? Sam wanted to do his best to be that sanctuary for him.

Tubbo hadn't accepted the position yet, at least, and he had a feeling, or maybe a hope, that he wouldn't later. He was smart and, more importantly, he had the capability to have a stronger will than people tended to think, if given reason to.

However, the most concerning thing Sam realised, three weeks into Tubbo's residence in his home, was that Tubbo had started acting a little differently.

Nothing drastic - it wasn't a personality switch or something crazy like that. It was more like that slight change you'd get from someone who was getting sick with something, and that was why Sam initially assumed Tubbo was down with something. Maybe he caught something from one too many evenings spent drenched while they worked on their ocean project. 

But he wasn't showing any physical symptoms. No coughs, no sneezes, no lethargy - eventually, Sam resigned himself to the fact that it couldn't be something as simple as that. He asked Tubbo directly if his horns had been bothering him, because that seemed like a good back-up explanation, but alas, Tubbo had just smiled and cheerily replied that they had been fine for the past few days. 

He knew he had to get to the bottom of this, and he ended up taking the opportunity to ask Tubbo directly one evening, while they were replanting one of his automatic farms. 

("Are you okay? You've been acting a little off recently."

Tubbo looked up from the soil he was hoeing, a light surprise cast over his face. "Have I?"

"Yeah."

Tubbo pursed his lips, gaze falling down to the soil again. There was a silence long enough that Sam thought he wouldn't get an explanation, that Tubbo didn't have one, before he sighed with a shrug. "Gonna be honest with you, man, I'm not sure. I feel okay. Or I feel like I should be okay, you know? I'm safe and happy living here, and it's really cool to just be able to relax and focus on a building project."

Tubbo hesitated, and Sam gently prompted him as he knelt down to plant his carrots, trying to act more casual to avoid placing any more pressure on him. "...But?"

"But it feels like I shouldn't be here." Tubbo breathed, and Sam tensed, looking up with a small frown. He didn't get a chance to refute the claim before Tubbo corrected himself, propping his hoe against the wall as he waved his free hand quickly. "Not to say I don't feel welcome here! I do, more than I have in ages. But there's - I dunno, there's this- this-" He huffed, eyes narrowing in frustration as he tried to find his words, grappling at the front of his overalls, a new outfit that Niki had brought him a week prior that made him vaguely look like a bee. Sam didn't rush him, and eventually, he forced out his sentences. "This feeling, like a knot or something in my chest. Sometimes it gets tighter and sometimes it's looser but it's always kinda _there_? And sometimes it feels like it's actually trying to yank me somewhere and it's-" He giggled, breathless and awkward. "It's weird, I guess." 

Tubbo rubbed his arm, growing quieter and mumbling to himself as he avoided Sam's gaze. "I feel hollow. I know I'm safe and happy but I feel hollow at the same time. I don't get it."

And Sam wished he did. He wished he had a magical solution, or an explanation, or even a proper helpful reaction to give Tubbo. But he had no idea how to handle the situation, not the foggiest idea what was actually going on with Tubbo, so the best he could do was straighten up and offer a smile he hoped was comforting. "Well, I'm not sure about all that, but I'm glad you told me. Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?"

Tubbo managed a small smile, and he knew it was the best answer he could have given.)

* * *

Sam was a pretty simple guy, and he wasn't oblivious either. He knew something was coming, knew that whatever was happening with Tubbo wasn't going to simply fizzle out and dissolve into nothingness. 

It was going to reach a peak, and he had no idea what that peak would be. All he could do was hope Tubbo would be okay through it all, that he'd be able and allowed to support him to the best of his ability. 

(And Sam wasn't a political person in the slightest, but he couldn't help but feel a tiny spark of spite, a small pulse of bitterness towards the adults that had put Tubbo in a situation like this, and the adults that should have protected him and Tommy and all the others like them.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote half of this chapter in the span of two hours thanks to the absolute ADRENALINE SHOT the events of today gave me and now I am going to immediately go to sleep 
> 
> in other news,, sam pov!! there's gonna be a few pov switch chapters every so often for the Flavour and also some fun insight into other characters. sam is first because in this household we love and appreciate sam!!


	9. walls begin to burn

It was just short of a month after he moved in that Tubbo ended up acting on an impulse.

Well - maybe impulsive was too generous of a term. It was something that only felt impulsive because Tubbo couldn't quite understand his urge to follow through with it, because in actuality, it was a planned sequence of events. Admittedly not one that was meticulously planned, but planned nonetheless.

It wasn't that he was unhappy with Sam. In fact, the time he spent with him was undeniably pleasant; a chance to feel truly safe for the first time in what felt like ages. Sam accepted him no matter what, listened to him ramble about whatever he felt like and comforted him whenever he needed it. His horns weren't bothering him that much either, with episodes of pain present but rare. They had grown more, enough for their inevitable backwards curl to be obvious, but they were still hideable under Quackity's beanie, so they clearly hadn't grown too much. 

He wouldn't say he was unhappy at all, but he couldn't say he was fully satisfied either. The coil in his chest kept getting tighter, and the tugging grew more incessant the longer time went on. There was a vague sense of wrongness no matter what he did, an emptiness that he couldn't quite fill. It was like he was trading one problem for another, because the universe couldn't bear to give him a break, could it? As soon as he found safety and comfort, his perception of reality had to fry itself so he never felt quite right.

He had told Sam about it, but he hadn't told anyone else, Tommy and Niki included. With this in mind, it was ironic that his plan started with them.

They had snuck out of Pogtopia to visit him in the early morning, when the air was still chilly with the remnants of nightly wind. Sam had given them some pumpkin pie and warmed milk for their trouble, even inviting them inside for once while jokingly telling Tommy to keep his eyes off his chests of valuables, before leaving them to their privacy. Tubbo had noticed that Sam made an effort to leave them to their devices whenever he had visitors, and considering he had never asked that of him, he appreciated it immensely. Sam really was a good guy. 

Tubbo sat at one end of the sofa, leaning into its corner as he balanced his plate of pumpkin pie precariously in his lap. Tommy was sat beside him, with Niki on his other side and a blanket spread over both their knees, for the sake of comfort rather than any need for warmth. He listened to them both talk for a good while, occasionally offering a few quips here and there, but he was ultimately distracted by the black hole in his chest. Usually, it was made up of a feeling of hollowness that ebbed and grew without any obvious rhyme or reason, but today, there was a lingering swirl of anxiety in its midst. It made him feel restless, because he wasn't sure if it was because of his plan or just a natural side effect of whatever this feeling was. 

(A part of him wished Quackity had been able to come with Tommy and Niki. For some unfathomable reason, the hole always seemed quietest when the duck hybrid was around, one wing around him as he cracked jokes and temporarily filled the cracks in between Tubbo's ribs.)

He waited until a lapse in the flow of conversation to begin, casually cutting off another bite of pie with the side of his fork. "So, if you had the chance, would you ever want to travel freestyle, do you think? Like, following wherever your heart wants to go rather than planning your stops and destination."

"What kind of fucking question is that?" Tommy snorted, raising an eyebrow, but despite his words, a look of contemplation settled over his face as he considered the scenario. He grinned after a moment, leaning back and slinging his arm around the back of the couch. "Maybe. It'd be a cool experience, I reckon. It's kind of like being an adventurer or explorer or some shit, isn't it, going wherever you feel like."

"Do you think you'd wanna find secret ruins or treasure or something?" Tubbo asked with a playful smile, popping his forkful into his mouth and humming as he leaned over to set his plate down on the coffee table. "You could become famous if you found something like that."

"Excuse you, I'm already famous! I mean, I'm Tommy fucking Innit, you know? Everyone's heard of me!" Tommy huffed, full of bravado as he puffed his chest out. He was being dramatic, they both knew it, but there was some truth to his words. Being the face of a revolution and an exiled vice-president made you a popular topic of conversation, and word always spread fast when it came to politics. 

Even so, Tubbo feigned ignorance, snickering as he poked Tommy's side repeatedly. "Sure you are." 

"I am, you bitch!" Tommy scoffed in response, even though he was grinning too, batting at his poking finger and drawing another giggle from him. 

"What about you, Niki?" Tubbo asked with a smile, tilting his head against the sofa cushions so he could glance at her around Tommy's shoulders. "You think you'd ever feel like travelling the lands like a nomad?"

Niki's eyes were bright with amusement as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her other hand pulling the blanket more securely over her lap. "Perhaps for the treasures." She joked, earning an incredulous snort from both boys. She wasn't a very materialistic person to begin with. "No, no, I don't think I would. I did a little bit of travelling before I settled here, and I must say, I like having a place and people to call home over the constant change, even though all the travel was interesting. It's comforting."

"Nah, I think you just liked us too much." Tommy claimed with a smirk brimming with confidence, eyes glittering with mischief as he banged his fist against his chest proudly. "We grew on you like weeds."

"Maybe that played a part too." Niki's smile was light and teasing, but her tone was soft and earnest, and that made Tommy deflate slightly from his dramatised pride. He reached for his cup, leaning forward enough for Niki to make proper eye contact with Tubbo over his back. "And you, Tubbo? Seeing as you asked, I'm guessing you have a well thought out answer."

"Well, if I went, Tubbo would obviously come with me. He'd miss me too much otherwise." Tommy said matter-of-factly, before he had a chance to answer for himself, punctuating the statement with a gulp of milk. The claim wasn't wrong by any means - they were a package deal, through and through - but Tubbo still dragged out a hum of disagreement. Tommy shot him a glare that looked a lot less intimidating paired with his unhappy pout. "Hey, I'm right! You'd come with me because you're clingy like that."

Tubbo turned to face away from Tommy with an amused smile, rolling his eyes without his best friend noticing. "Maybe, but I think I'd take the opportunity on my own too. It might be a relief, to just follow wherever my heart wants to go. Fulfilling or something, you know?"

Here's the truth of this step: Tubbo wanted to hint at his decision without letting his friends know outright. It would take too much explaining, and too much time, and he didn't want to deal with that. Bringing up random what-if scenarios was a common occurrence because that was often how they entertained themselves in Pogtopia, so bringing it up like this was the subtlest way he could think to do it. It planted the thought in their heads, and while he was sure they might still ask, they couldn't claim that he didn't tell them at all, later down the line.

There was a faint tug in the center of his chest, but it went ignored.

* * *

The next step in his plan commenced around noon, when Bad and Ant had arrived for their weekly lunch with Sam and, by extension, Tubbo. It was a lot simpler than the first step, because it was a lot more straightforward. 

"I was thinking," He started conversationally as they settled on a picnic blanket overlooking the sea, Sam setting out food as Ant pulled a cake from his inventory, "about the offer."

Both Sam and Bad seemed to straighten up to attention at his words, the former tensing as he paused in his arranging of the food. Despite the two of them seeming the most invested in this new line of conversation, it was Ant that actually responded, tone casual as he busied himself with cutting the cake into slices. Tubbo was thankful for that - he didn't want this conversation to be truly serious. "About joining The Badlands, right?"

Tubbo hummed in quiet acknowledgement, shifting to sit cross legged as he rested his hands in his lap. The hole in his chest grew with the noise. "You guys ultimately want peace, right?"

Bad seemed to light up at the question, flames of hope burning behind the glass of his irises, as he clapped his hands together gently. "Yes, that's exactly it! Our plans...do include a little chaos provoking, but in the end, that's all for eventual peace. That makes sense, right?"

"Right." Tubbo replied lightly with a smile, happy to keep to himself the fact that there were clearly better ways to reach for peace, and by choosing to take this route, were The Badlands really any better than every other faction?

Sam abandoned the food entirely, shuffling closer to Tubbo from where he sat on his right, having caught onto what was happening. "Again, you don't have to join. You said you wanted a place away from the conflict, and my base can still be that for you without any promise of loyalty. You know that, right?" There was a sharp desperation in his eyes, a worried crease between his brows as Sam silently tried to communicate something to him, and Tubbo really did appreciate the attempt, but he already had a plan to follow.

He mustered up a reassuring smile, ears flicking up encouragingly as he reached over to take Sam's hand. "I know, don't worry." He turned back to face Ant and Bad, narrowing his eyes as his reassurement hardened into determination. "But I really do want to join. I don't mind what it takes to get there, I just want peace."

Bad seemed to positively glow at his decision, and Ant perked up too, his tail swaying from side to side in a languidly content pace. Even Sam relaxed at his show of passion, untensing beneath his hand and beginning to hold his hand in a more steady, grounding grip. He hadn't wanted Tubbo to be pressured into joining, but if he was genuinely interested, then he wouldn't try to intervene. 

"I guess we have something to celebrate with this cake now, huh?" Ant grinned, moving a slice of cake to a plate and handing it to Tubbo, who was more than happy to accept with his free hand, soaking in the happy atmosphere.

"Absolutely!" Bad agreed cheerfully, accepting a slice of his own when offered but ignoring it in favour of turning back to Tubbo. He placed a hand on his knee, warm and friendly, and despite the echo of something sinister in his eyes, it was overshadowed by his genuine joy. "Now, we're kinda at a stalemate, because Manburg and Pogtopia are ignoring each other at the moment- which is fine! We're looking to take the land around them for the time being, but we can take care of that ourselves. Rest assured, we'll be sure to let you know as soon as we need your help." He paused, eyes sliding over to Sam with the same giddy smile. "And the same goes for you, Mr Awesam. I'll be in close contact with you, as always."

Sam smiled back, and if his mask wasn't in the way, you would be able to see the way his eyes crinkled at the edges. He nodded in understanding, and the conversation melted back into non-business matters with ease, reinforcing how casual the faction felt, lacking the hierarchy both Manburg and Pogtopia unknowingly had.

None of them noticed that beneath the thick layer of righteous honey, Tubbo's words were a complete lie.

The truth to step two, while more straightforward to carry out, was a little harder to explain: Tubbo needed to join The Badlands. Not because he agreed with their ideals, or plans, or because he felt an obligation. No, he knew he had to join for something more detached than that, something he couldn't begin to articulate - it just felt like a good idea.

The line in his chest yanked harshly, tightening to the point breathing felt difficult, but only for a moment. It loosened as soon as he registered the tightness had occurred, and Tubbo chose not to dwell on it.

* * *

The final preparatory step of the plan was ironically the simplest in theory, yet the hardest in practise. 

It was almost evening when Tubbo finally put it into motion, checking his inventory once, twice, thrice to make sure he had everything he needed. Then he took a final glance around his room in Sam's base - it was small, but homely, with very few items taking up the space. It had been a while since Tubbo had had a solid enough home to actually hoard anything, what with the war and the subsequent movement between sides being a spy entailed, so he hadn't felt a burning need to actively find things to decorate with. 

Confident that he wasn't missing anything, Tubbo left to go and find Sam. He had considered not telling him about what he was doing at all, but after everything Sam had done for him, it felt unfair to just leave him to worry without a word. Besides, it's not like it would really make much of a difference to the plan itself.

He found Sam doing maintenance work on one of his many, many machines, redstone dust staining his fingers red and sleeves rolled up to the elbows. His mask was shifted to the side, revealing his eyes lidded with concentration as he tweaked the connections, most likely aiming to improve efficiency. He seemed so absorbed in his work that Tubbo almost felt guilty interrupting his work, knowing he didn't particularly appreciate it when people interrupted his own redstone work. 

Almost.

"Hey Sam!" He chirped, unable to stifle his giggle when the man jolted in surprise. He must not have noticed his entrance. 

"What's up?" He responded once he gathered his bearings, wearing a small smile of his own as he leaned back on his heels from where he had previously been leaning forward in his crouch. Sam looked around for a few moments, holding his dirtied hands up awkwardly in midair, before resigning himself to the fact that he didn't have anything to clean them with at hand and wiping his fingers on his pants. "Did you need something?"

Tubbo shifted from foot to foot, fiddling with the straps of his overalls to play it off more casually than it actually was. "Not really, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going out for a bit."

Concern overtook Sam's features and he instantly straightened up, dismissing his redstone in favour of stepping closer to where Tubbo was standing. "Why, did something happen?" It was a loaded question to ask, but Tubbo had been expecting it, so he already had an answer ready on the tip of his tongue. 

"No, no, I've just been feeling restless lately." He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Tubbo held his hands up in mock defense when Sam's brows furrowed, trying to quell his worry before it could grow. "I was thinking of going on a little hike or something, you know? Get some fresh air, might help me feel better. I'll be back at some point." He left the 'probably' unsaid and hoped Sam didn't detect it. 

If he did, he didn't openly address it, instead nodding slowly. The concern hadn't fully faded from his expression. "Okay then. Want me to come with you?"

Tubbo shook his head quickly, hand resting idly at his chest, at the feeling of a pit hiding underneath his flesh and bone. "I was actually thinking of going on an extended trip. A couple days or so, maybe? I don't want to drag you away from everything here."

Sam stared at him for a few long moments, before sighing with a hint of a smile as he adjusted his mask to cover his face properly again. "You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" He said, a cocktail of resignation and amusement. "As long as you make sure to stay safe, I guess I won't stop you. Do you have everything you need? A sword and a full set of armour, at least?"

Tubbo hummed with a nod, enjoying the lack of further questioning as he pulled his sword out of his inventory as proof. He continued by pulling his armour out one piece at a time - an iron set - before looking up with a proud smile. "Tada! I've got everything I need to defend myself. All I'm missing is a helmet, but that's only because I can't really wear them anymore." He made a vague gesture towards his horns, even though it was largely unnecessary, because they both knew what he was talking about.

Sam wordlessly reached for the sword, and Tubbo allowed him to inspect it for a moment, assuming that it was better to let Sam get his concerns out the way instead of resisting it. He wasn't in much of a rush anyway. The other cracked a grin as he watched his fingertips leave traces of redstone on the handle of the sword, before looking back up at him. "I can repair this for you, if you want. I'll let you leave straight afterwards, I promise."

His tone was light - Tubbo knew he trusted him enough to look after himself, and while he might ask him to keep him updated later, he wasn't going to try and stop him. Sam wasn't really that type of person anyway. He cared, but he didn't often try to stop someone from making their own decisions. 

"Only if you don't mind being dragged away from your work for a little bit." Tubbo joked back, and the two nudged shoulders as they left through the doorway. 

The truth, or rather, the objective of this final step is easily summarised in a single word: leave.

Tubbo's chest ached with emptiness, and he ignored it in the hopes it would go away soon.

* * *

To be fully honest, Tubbo didn't have a plan past this point, mostly because he couldn't. He wanted to follow the tug of the line coiled in his chest, to see if he could finally feel normal again if he followed it far enough, and he couldn't really plan for that. He had no idea where the line would take him, or how far away the destination would be, and he was bracing himself for the discovery that it would try to take him too far, and he'd end up giving it up. Or, even worse, he reached the destination and nothing happened.

The latter luckily didn't seem to be the case, because as he followed the tugging, the hole in his chest seemed to ever so gradually begin to fill and the pull itself seemed to become gentler. It was a relief that was overshadowed by his surprise when he found himself heading back in the direction of Pogtopia. For a brief moment, he wondered if this feeling had just been homesickness, but even he knew that it was a bit too palpable to be homesickness alone. Besides, while he missed the people of Pogtopia, he didn't exactly miss the ravine itself.

Even if he did think it was a plausible explanation, it would have been disproven quickly as the tugging led him past Pogtopia, not guiding him any closer, and a part of him was grateful. From what the others had told him, he wasn't sure a meeting with Wilbur would end well for him right now. 

It took him a few more minutes of walking, distracted by the pleasant growing of steadiness in his chest, to realise that while he may not be heading towards Pogtopia, he was heading directly towards Manburg. He stopped midstep, anxiety rivalling the coaxing pull inside his ribcage as he caught sight of the first few flickering lanterns in the distance, against the swiftly darkening sky, marking out Manburg's border. 

Tubbo's mind blanked for a moment, before he reasoned that it wasn't exactly proven that he was drawn towards Manburg anyway, so he could spare to get a little closer. He just had to be careful - his pace was slower when he started walking again, his ears lifted in tentative wariness. He ignored the part of him that knew the only reason he wasn't turning back was because he yearned to feel whole again, to knit together the gap between his lungs, and a possible solution was right there, within his grasp. 

He edged closer and closer until he stood just behind the treeline that surrounded the Manburg borders, just outside the reach of those glowing lanterns, and almost felt like yelling at the sky. He was so unbelievably relieved, because here, so close to the nation, he felt whole again. Tubbo felt steadier than he had in a while, with no tugging or hollowness to bother him, and it was wonderful. But in contrast, he was an inch away from enemy territory, and he didn't have any idea what the consequences of getting caught were. 

Of course, because things could only ever go downhill for him, he had to catch the sound of movement, footsteps coming towards him. Even worse, the movement was close, much closer than they had any right to being when his hearing was this sensitive. He should have heard it sooner, but he bitterly supposed that he was too preoccupied with his thoughts.

Tubbo knew that making a mad dash would make a lot of noise, and he didn't know for sure that whoever was nearby knew he was here, so he settled for a few quiet steps back. He turned his torso to face the way he came, preparing to run if needed and tracking the cleanest escape route with his eyes. His hands, meanwhile, fumbled underneath the dark cloak he wore over himself, grasping for Quackity's beanie folded neatly in his pocket. Tubbo hadn't worn it purely because he hadn't expected to come into contact with anyone. At the very least, he thought he would have had time to put on the beanie if he was, but it seemed that things didn't turn out that way. 

"Well, look who it is!"

Tubbo froze, plans of running and hiding melting into useless fragments as the voice rang out from behind him. He would have been surprised that they had been able to get so close without him noticing again if it wasn't for the fact that he had been panicking slightly, and the additional fact that he recognised that voice too well.

Hesitantly, he turned to face Schlatt, dread overtaking his stomach while a strange, comforting warmth bloomed in his chest, the juxtaposition alone enough to make him feel a little sick. Schlatt stared at him intensely with molten gold eyes, signature horns framing his face as they curled around his ears and then even further. He was wearing his usual suit, looking as professional as ever. In fact, he largely looked the same as Tubbo remembered, except for one key detail that unsettled him the most. 

Despite clearly being in what Schlatt would deem the wrong, Tubbo couldn't detect any hint of anger or frustration in the man's frame or expression. Even though he technically wasn't trespassing on Manburg grounds, he was close enough that he was sure that the ram hybrid would have no qualms against punishing him for it. 

But instead, he was talking as casually as if this was a chance meeting on the street and they were talking about the weather, moving a few steps closer. Tubbo bit his lip, but didn't tense like he usually did when Schlatt moved in his direction. "Your horns are growing in well." The other continued idly, tracing their shape with his eyes. 

The reminder made Tubbo feel overly aware of them, pushing the beanie back into his pocket as his other hand instinctively reached up to skim the hard surface of his horns. The implications of the words caught up to him a moment later, and he frowned. "You're not surprised?"

Schlatt didn't immediately respond, instead giving him a cryptic smile as he raised a brow. "Maybe we should have this talk somewhere more...private." He mused after a moment, turning to glance back at Manburg proper, but not turning enough to allow Tubbo the opportunity to sneak away. "Come along, then." 

Schlatt turned, lazily gesturing for Tubbo, as if confident he would follow. With his back to him, now was the perfect time for Tubbo to make his escape, and by all accounts, he should have, but instead an unbidden question came tumbling out."You're- You're not angry that I'm here?" 

It was an understandable question, really, considering everything that had happened. At least, Tubbo seemed to think so. Apparently the feeling wasn't mutual, because Schlatt snorted as he turned back to face him, shaking his head. "No. I don't know if you recall, but I never technically exiled you, Tubbo. You were the one that chose to run away." 

"Wha-" Tubbo was momentarily stunned, but pushed through his surprise with his words, trying not to stutter. "But you called for my execution!" 

"Yeah, but in a world where people rise from the dead all the time, does such a decision really hold that much weight?" Schlatt sighed, tilting his head to the side as his eyes bore holes into Tubbo's very being. "Your execution was mostly to teach you a lesson. A healthy dose of fear can do a person some good, y'know." His lips quirked upwards, and the amusement in the gesture sent a chill down Tubbo's spine and doused the warmth that had settled in his chest. It was a sharp contrast to how deathly serious he was at the podium. "Besides, I knew you were going to come back eventually." 

The chill spread from his spine, down into his veins, and he almost didn't want to ask. "What makes you say that?" 

Schlatt chuckled, a low mocking sound that made Tubbo want to turn heel, made him wish he had never come. He moved towards him in large strides, and he didn't have the time to properly process it before he was beside him. "Well, kid, it's pretty simple," He placed a warm hand on Tubbo's shoulder that made him jolt in surprise, and his gaze only flickered to his growing horns momentarily before he looked the boy directly in the eyes, leaving his mirth on full display. 

"Lambs tend to be a bit _attached_ to their sire's flocks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and HERE he is. the man of the hour finally makes an appearance in the actual plotline, fashionably late like the asshole he is
> 
> and as is tradition for this fic, i am posting this at a terrible hour for myself and am therefore about to fall asleep at any second. enjoy!


End file.
